In 2006 I had to be on bed-rest for two months. I don't want anyone to worry--I am fine now! I just wanted to add my thoughts about that time because going to bed for 6 weeks to 2 months can change a person's perspective on a lot of things and I wanted to share this time with you.
June 2006
I was about to learn what it meant to be the proverbial princess in the ivory tower with a honking fog-horn and a box of bonbons.
Honestly, had I known the recovery time after the surgery was going to be so difficult I probably wouldn't have had it done.
The biopsy results were benign, thank God. After losing two young girlfriends to cancer in the last 2 years I'm no stranger to the realities of how quickly life can be turned upside down and end in just a few short months.
As far as it is in my control, I would be there in a heartbeat if one of my friends or family needed my help. I would insist that they allow themselves to be pampered and value themselves and their health enough to take their down-time in stride...
Why have I treated myself any differently?
Learning to value myself has been a journey for me. The past 5 weeks have taught me a lot about who I am. Life is short, this is not a dress rehearsal, blah, blah, blah. There's nothing quite like a lot of time to reflect on where you are in life. No one else can do these things for me--I have to take care of myself. Finding out who I am and what I want out of life is just the beginning. Fully engaging in every moment is my goal.
I railed against being stuck in bed but at some point my room stopped being my cell and I began to call it my Ivory Tower. It's where I "live" for now. Occasionally the court jesters come visit me or my knight in shining armor brings me tacos. LOL
But calling it my Ivory Tower is more than just a playful term...it reflects the change in me and what I deserve from myself in my life.
For 1 or 2 more weeks I will be up here, gnoshing on dark chocolate, watching guilty pleasure movies, playing board games with my kids, editing photos, catching up on letters that have needed to be written, talking and laughing with my wonderful friends who've been with me thru all this and then.....The Dr. imposed 'lock' will spring and I will be free to leave. But the "princess" who walks out of the door will not be the same person who schlepped in 6 weeks ago because I have realized my worth. Now, pass me the bonbons! :)