By Karen McConnaughey
In May the entire Focus on Mexico staff (except Manuel) spent some time in Melaque at the beach. Ray & Marie drove their RV to Melaque (a 4-hour drive on the cuota) and set up shop on the public beach which is right on the ocean. You can’t beat the price at $50 pesos per night. They spent the week of April 21 there. They then left the RV there for Bill, Ana and me to use the following week.
When Marie offered this opportunity to us, I said, “You know, Marie, my idea of roughing it is Motel 8!” She quickly assured me that it was a very nice RV, and she thought we would have a good time. So Bill and I, even though we have NEVER gone camping in a tent OR an RV immediately accepted the offer. You couldn’t beat the price, and they were driving it down and coming back to pick it up, and we were adventurous…after all, we moved to Mexico, didn’t we? So what if we hadn’t RVed before…what could possibly go wrong? Uh-h-h-h…from my mouth to God’s ears.
Let’s start with Day One, shall we?
Ana led us down with her car, which included her two sons, her sister Claudia, and Claudia’s son Luis. Obviously, we weren’t all going to be staying in the RV…Ana and her family had rented a 2-bedroom suite on the opposite side of Melaque. It was an easy drive to Melaque from Ajijic, which was imperative for Bill and me because Ana was going back home early. Bill and I would be forced to drive back on our own, which means we could have been lost forever! We passed Manzanillo on the way, so now we know how to get there too.
Our first challenge was finding the public beach…we had to keep calling Ray on the cell phones so he could “lead us toward the light!” After that, we spent about an hour with him and Marie to bring us up to speed on our home away from home: how to use the generator, how to fill the freshwater tanks, check the black-water (toilet) and gray-water (sinks and shower) tanks; where to get water; and a dozen other things peculiar to a home on wheels. It wasn’t long enough. We listened, but eventually I think our brains became full…what we should have done was for me to listen half the time and Bill to listen half the time and then maybe we would have gotten everything right…then again, we probably would have gotten everything half-right! From what little I understand about RVing now, we were “dry camping,” which means there is no electric, water or sewer hookups. See…I’m getting to know the lingo…I’m good!
By the way, when I decided to write this blog, I thought I needed to know what kind of an RV we were staying in…all the other RV articles I read started off with that information! So I asked Ray, and he said, “Our RV is a Chateau Sport 21 foot Class C with ‘cab over sleeping’.” Huh? Okay…what good did that do me? Do I know anything more now? No. Does it help me with the story? No. But since I asked, I decided to leave it in anyway, so some of you can go “huh?” too!
I did get the “cab over sleeping” part, however. You know, I have never quite understood that part of RVing myself, and if anyone wants to comment on this part of the blog, and yell at me or even agree with me about this, feel free…believe me, I can take it…I’ve been RVing!
Aren’t most RVers older…possibly senior citizens? Don’t most of us have to go to the bathroom at least once a night, if not more? If that’s true, who the heck thought that “cab-over-sleeping” part with one person on the inside of the bed was a good idea? I looked at that bed the first day and thought, “This could be a problem.” I guess I obsessed about it so much during the evening and dreamed about it that night that at some time during the early morning hours, I dreamed I was shouting, “I have to go to the bathroom!” At that moment, I woke up shouting, “I have to go to the bathroom! I have to go to the bathroom!” I rose up quickly, hit my head on the ceiling, hit the pillow, rose up quickly again, hit my head on the ceiling…well, you get the picture, I’m a slow learner. At that moment, I knew I would never be able to go over Bill, so my second choice was to go through him!
It's funny now, but I’m sure Bill didn't think so at the moment as I kept hitting him and pushing him out of bed so I could get out! I felt like I was in a weird Woody Allen movie (or is that redundant???).
I kept yelling, "I have to go to the bathroom! I have to go to the bathroom!" and punching him. My first step off the bunk went well, but the second step not so well…all I can say is that I'm lucky I didn't break something or kill myself! I felt like a turtle on its back as I lay on the floor waving my arms and legs in every direction…still shouting, mind you! I really HAD to go to the bathroom! Actually, with all that happened, I’m surprised it didn’t happen before I reached the proper facilities!
So…my advice…if you’re RVing in a “cab over sleeping,” practice getting in and out of bed several times while it’s light so you know what you’re doing when it gets dark. It’s the best advice you’ll ever get from a non-RVer! By the way, the rest of the week, I slept on the sofa, alone, nearer the floor…go figure!
DAY TWO:
Yes, I know Ray & Marie told us that there was no electricity to the RV (we did have a generator though), and that we couldn’t take a shower, because we’d run out of water too fast. We weren’t hooked up to water, so we had to “conserve what we had in the freshwater tank, and be careful how much water was going into the black-water and gray-water tanks.” Yes, we heard that, but it obviously didn’t make much of an impression on us…we certainly weren’t careful about it! We kept running low on water, and since we forgot where Ray told us to get water in town for the tanks, Bill kept buying these huge bottles of purified water at the local store until the owner asked him what he was doing with all that water. When Bill told him, the owner looked at him with amazement (a look that said, “dumb gringo!”…but being polite, he didn’t say that out loud!) and said “that’s awfully expensive toilet water.” Bill never went back there again…couldn’t bear to face him! But that started us thinking, by golly…where WAS all that water going? Yep…that’s where it was going…filling up those other two tanks Ray & Marie told us to be careful about. Oh we are so NOT RVers! I won’t tell you how we solved that problem! You might be eating!
Okay…enough complaining…all that being said, we had the BEST time! Our RV was situated right on the ocean. We had an outstanding view of the sunrise every morning as we sat at our patio table drinking our coffee with just enough breezes during the day to make it perfect. We watched the fishing boats going out every morning to haul in the fresh fish for the restaurants. We watched and listened to the birds as they ate breakfast and followed the boats out. We bought a hammock and we both took our afternoon siestas on it! Ah yes…it was the good life.
We also enjoyed our time with Ana and her family. We sat all day at one of the restaurants on the beach, sleeping, reading, playing cards…occasionally taking a dip in the water, and watching the boys enjoy themselves in the sand and the water. I kept saying, “I am SO happy to be here!” It was wonderful. We ate grilled fish, and we had shrimp cerviches with avocado for only $6 pesos each (yes, 60 cents!). We drank beer and Micheladas and sodas. We watched the kids bury themselves in the sand. We also went to the wonderful little shops in Barra de Navidad, which was just around the “corner” from us. It was just the perfect spirit-refreshing vacation…well, except maybe for the banana-boat incident!
It was a banana-shaped balloon craft that zipped over the top of the water pulled by a motorized boat. What can I say…it looked like fun, and the boys wanted to go. So I put on this very small vest…could only fasten one strap, but I sincerely thought it would hold (read eternal optimist here!)…climbed astride the banana boat and away we went for our glorious ride…for about 30 seconds! I found out later that as we took off, Bill turned to Ana and said, “You know…I don’t know if she knows how to swim.”
Well, I don’t! But…hey…I had a lifejacket on…fastened with one strap…what could go wrong?? Right…okay…maybe the waves, the bouncing, the speed and the boys rocking back and forth…maybe just something could go wrong! No sooner said than done…the entire crew was dumped into the ocean! One minute I was having fun and laughing, and the next minute I was under the water holding on to my vest for dear life. My one little strap immediately gave up the challenge when I hit the water. Thank goodness I didn’t panic (much!) and just held on to that vest for dear life. I’m thinking, “I only need to relax and wait for the tiny little lifejacket I'm wearing to pop me out of the water like a cork out of champagne. However, I was also thinking if I lost this darn vest, I’m a goner!
I emerged on the surface, took a breath and immediately started dog-paddling toward shore. Hey…I said I couldn’t swim, but I do a mean dog-paddle! I wasn’t too far at that moment, and knew there was no way I was going to get further from land using that less-than-adequate lifejacket. However, as I “paddled” toward shore, every forward movement was marked by the tide coming back out and removing any progress I had made. I saw a young lady and man about 20 feet in front of me. I must have looked and sounded pathetic…an older lady, dog paddling as fast as I could, saying in a completely exhausted, weak, little-girl voice, “ayudame, por favor.” The young lady headed carefully toward me with her hand outstretched, saying, in perfect English, “you’re okay…you can actually stand up.” I tried it and I couldn’t…I just replied meekly, “I’m very short.” She finally reached me and took my hand. I’m proud of myself…I didn’t grab her…I just held her hand lightly. She again told me I could stand up…with the same results! We finally reached firm footing for me…I think I thanked her; I really don’t remember…and I headed for the beach. The banana boat guy finally realized I wasn’t coming back and took off for parts unknown with the rest of the crew!
As I reached the shore, I looked toward the restaurant where Bill, Ana and Claudia were waiting. Here was my darling Bill coming toward me as fast as he could on the shore, feeling helpless, I’m sure. He had been so far away at the time of the “incident,” there was nothing he could do but watch the drama unfold. I was absolutely exhausted with not one bit of energy left. It was kind of fun playing the damsel in distress and falling into his arms and hugging him and tenderly saying, “did you get a picture?” :-0))) Ever the photographer! But, you know what, it was fun, and if I ever get a better lifejacket (read bigger vest here!), I’m game to try it again. I’m just that stupid! I thought it was a hoot, and it could have been a lot of fun if only I had been better prepared.
All in all, it really was a perfect vacation in Melaque, and I want to thank Ray & Marie for their generosity, particularly since Ray had to make a second round-trip to pick up the RV and take it home. Can’t wait to do it again. Now that we’re no longer virgin RVers, I know it’s going to be better!
