By Tere Ruiz

Have you ever thought about retiring to Mexico and living a life on vacation with a lower cost of living, much better weather than where you live, an enigmatic culture…?

But…how can you Focus on Mexico if every day you are bombarded by the media with information regarding the drug cartels, the insecurity, the bandidos, etc…?

How can you Focus on Mexico if you don’t know the real thing?  I mean the real thing?

Focusing on Mexico

Jean Jacques Rousseau, (1712-1778) used to say a famous phrase very well known in Mexico that can be translated to “Your liberty is limited by the liberty of your neighbors.”  

If the media follows this reasoning, then the listener has the freedom to hear the truth and make their own conclusions as to the truth of what they’re hearing, and then will not feel manipulated.

Mexican Time

Ever since I moved down to the Lake Chapala area, I have discovered many things that Mexicans normally do without noticing how annoying they can be to people from other cultures. One of the things that I believe surprises, or maybe I should say, annoys people from other countries and even Mexicans at some point, is the Mexican Time.

Listening to people who come to the Lake Chapala area from other countries and their experience with the locals, I have realized that I have dealt with the same things they complain about regarding Mexican Time, for all my life as well have all the people who live in this country.  Maybe we Mexicans are so used to dealing with the Mexican Time issues that most of the time, we don’t really pay much attention or think it is a big deal. 

Mexican Ways?

All over the world, people have their own way of being.  This depends on the different environments, culture, preferences, values and beliefs.  What works for Mexicans may not work for everybody, and Mexican Time is a big example.

I know I mention Jose, our gardener, and his wife Vicki (our housekeeper) a lot, but to me they embody everything that is good and fine and wonderful about living in the Lake Chapala area of Mexico. They take care of us…yes, because we pay them, but also because they care about us. I don’t know how the discussion started, but one time Vicki and I were having a conversation about a neighbor of theirs. Vicki talked about how this woman had no children and she was seriously ill, and that Vicki would help her out by getting groceries, cleaning her house or making her food among other things. She was relating it not because she wanted me to know how good she was, but just in a matter of fact way of that’s what neighbors do here…they take care of one another. I was a little overcome by her story and later came up and slipped $200 pesos into her apron pocket and just said, “para su vecina” (for your neighbor), and started to walk away. “Senora Karen,” Vicki said. I turned and she hugged me and said, in Spanish, that before she met us she had never known any Norte Americanos very well. She wanted me to know that she loved us and she would never leave us. She would be with us forever. Needless to say, we both had tears in our eyes at the end of that conversation.

Vicki and Jose take care of us in so many ways. They’re always afraid we’re being taken advantage of. Once we had some workmen here who Vicki thought took much too long and did not do a good job. After they left, she said that whenever we needed anything, we should ask her. If Jose couldn’t do it, they would find someone good for us to use.

So now when we need something done, we ask them and, for the most part, Jose has been able to help us. For instance, Jose painted almost the entire inside of our house, repairing walls and ceilings at the same time. In some cases, he had to chip out the cement and go down to the brick. Then he put in chicken wire to enforce the wall, re-cemented the area and repainted it. He did all of this for around $300 USD. And, honestly, we tried to pay him more, but he wouldn’t hear of it.

 Lily and Maya earned the money themselves to go to Canada and made this video:

Father’s Day is coming and I believe it is a good time for reflection, gratitude, honoring and healing.  Whether we have good memories or bad memories about our parents and our childhood, whether our parents lived long or didn’t, whether there were times when they gave us headaches, I am sure there were also times in which they gave us joy, love and also, I am sure that they were proud of their children.

So let me tell you about my father… gee, I loved that man!  I really did.  I don’t even know why I loved him so madly.  I don’t mean that he didn’t deserve it -although I do think that everyone deserves to be loved- still, I can tell you that since I recall, I loved my daddy!

 by Karen McConnaughey

I do a lot of reading on the ‘net and ran into an article recently about retiring. The article opened by saying, “If уου′re a Boomer or fast approaching retirement age but уου′re far behind in retirement savings, don’t give up. You саח still pull together a retirement that уου саn enjoy. With perseverance, planning, and sacrifice, уου сan retire in relative comfort even with a late start.”

Oh Lordy…okay, so what if I don’t want to do any of that? So what if I want to retire now and enjoy my relative youth before I drop dead at my desk? How can I do that?

I know…I know…you’re the ant and I’m the grasshopper. It’s true. And, if you’re not familiar with that one…it’s the fable about a grasshopper who has spent the warm months singing away while the ant has worked hard to store up food for winter. And even though I knew the moral of the story was that we should be like the ants, industrious, conscientious, and hard-working, ready for winter and any other hardships that may come, my sympathies were always entirely with the grasshopper. So…yes…you’re back there slaving away, while I’m retired and enjoying the sunshine in Lake Chapala, Mexico. You’re working to get your retirement income up to what exactly? How much do you think it will take for you to be truly happy? Bill and I retired on his social security pension alone of $1500. Remember, money doesn’t buy happiness. Yes it takes some to get bу, but not as much as уου might have thought. Believe me, $1500 and a house in Mexico spelled HAPPINESS for the both of us…in capital letters!

One thing you’ll find out when you move to Mexico is that when you fix, repair or change ‘something,’ it will generally impact something else you might not have even thought about. We learned that when we got a pressurized water system for our house. I was tired of my little dribbling sink water and it seemed to take forever to do one load of laundry. Did I tell you we lived in a small Mexican village? So we decided to install a pressurized system. Great, right? Life will be perfect.

Our first adventure with the new system was taking a shower using our 20-liter hot water heater.  A shower…hot water, then immediately cold water. Oh yeah…pressurized system, water gone quickly! Off to the ferreria (hardware store) to get a new hot water heater…a really big hot water heater…72 liters. Sometimes Bill and I are such hayseeds…the minute it was installed, we waited an appropriate amount of time, and I got my request in first, “I’m going to take a shower!” Bill was surprised…As the man, I think he expected to be first. Not being the first can be upsetting to a man’s psyche. At that moment I didn’t care…I went first! It was such a lovely, wonderful, pressurized, long, hot shower that I really tried to stay in there to see how long it would be until the water ran cold. It never happened. Bliss. When I went into the living room, Bill immediately jumped up and said, “How was it?” I just smiled and said, “I never ran out of hot water.” He immediately had to try it and came out long afterward with the same silly smile on his face. Life was really perfect now!

I heard from my friend Kitt Vincent again. You might remember her from a previous blog, Journaling from Lake Chapala Mexico. She is involved in so many things that I’m just amazed by the vitality of both her and her husband Bill. Again, her journal was full of all the wonderful and interesting things they have been doing, but at the end, she takes time out to talk about the serenity of our wonderful area. I enjoyed it so much I wanted to share it with you.

“Now in the middle of all of this busy-ness, there is still time to sit quietly in an open air restaurant, listening to latin jazz, eating good food with a gentle breeze and a setting sun. People have corn growing in their yards and mangos are ripening on the trees. People use a long pole with a net on the end to pick avocados, mangos and other fruit off of the trees that line the streets. Our neighbors have some new baby chicks and the other day Bill had to turn up the TV because the roosters were too loud. I love this place! The donkey still cries at night to be with her mate in the next house. The dogs know we belong here so they only bark when there are new people walking on our street. I love driving through the small villages on our way home and seeing families sitting out in front of their houses having a meal with grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins; you know…just everybody. And I love seeing the young people standing in the shadows of the doorways sneaking a kiss.”

 

Not everybody loves peace and quiet all the time. Many of us need social stimulation. Culture. Shopping. Restaurants. Companionship. A life of excitement, friends, fun -- even luxury. And the leisure to enjoy it all. Can anyone say…Ajijic, Jalisco, Mexico?

We have so much to do here that you might need to keep a social calendar, and also develop the talent to say, ‘no.’

First of all, Lake Chapala is 45 minutes from the central hub of Guadalajara where you will find not only whatever food you want, but all the cultural events you could hope for. This past year we even had nine live feeds of the New York Metropolitan Opera – transmitted by high definition video – on the big screen in Guadalajara’s Teatro Diana. Those present at the first presentation gave “Tosca” a big thumbs up. “I loved it!” said Chapala area resident Marian Wellman, as she stood in line with friends afterwards to buy tickets for upcoming broadcast operas. “It’s the Met! But you can afford it!” Paying only 80 pesos for a presentation that a New Yorker would have to pay a minimum of $20 USD for.

There is a story in the news today about a father who is the reserve team manager for the Mexican soccer team, Las Chivas, who has quit his job after they refused to let him take time off to go see his son play for the world cup.

This story really encapsulates what a priority family is to Mexicans but what struck me even more was his understanding of time and what is eternal….

Goal.com reports:

Mexico star's father quits coaching job to watch him at World Cup

Javier ‘Chicharo’ Hernandez has quit his job as manager of Chivas' reserve side in order to watch his son, Javier ‘Chicharito’ Hernandez, play for Mexico in this summer's World Cup in South Africa...

Temperate Climate: believe it or not, this was our top reason. I thought Bill would want to move to Florida (where he had lived previously) or Phoenix (where his daughter lived). I knew I couldn’t exist in either place…I just can’t take the heat. I figured he’d see me waving goodbye in his rearview mirror!

The climate in Lake Chapala is awesome. We don’t need a furnace or an air conditioner. And, yes, it gets hot in May…that’s our “sweltering” month because we haven’t had any significant rain since September. The rainy season comes again in June, and we all look forward to it like kids who can’t wait to jump into a puddle! However, a couple of years ago when we finally adjusted to it being hot…we’re from Kansas City; with its humidity, we’re used to being able to feel air…we added a couple of extra ceiling fans and we’re just fine. And, you learn to stay out of the sun during the hottest part of the day. Just sitting in the shade feels about 20 degrees cooler because of the little or no humidity here in the Lake Chapala area.

By Kristina Morgan

Huele de Noche is an unassuming flowering plant that gives off a heady perfume that will fill an entire yard with its beauty at night. My daughter Maya thinks it looks like a weed. But that “weed” is one of the most beautiful flowers in our yard because of the sheer pleasure I have when I smell it at night. It even fills our house with the sweet smell. I admit that if you don’t recognize Huele de Noche for what it is that it is a little unexpected coming from such a modest flower.

Tonight, as we were leaving the house I stopped and showed my youngest daughter, Maya, the Huele de Noche plant and we both breathed in the scent of this surprising flower that may be small but packs quite a punch! We were leaving the yard and I was driving her to a dance where she was meeting her sister, Lily, and their friends.

As we were driving along, Maya and I chatted about whatever it is mothers and daughters chat about on the way to a dance. Time to be picked up, where she would meet Lily, etc.

Its funny how in retrospect these moments of utter normalcy can become the most poignant moments in our lives and it is also funny that as a person who loves to use words that I feel myself at a loss to describe the moment of clarity I had that made me so proud and in awe of this few seconds that was a blip on the history radar. As a parent, it’s as if I crossed an invisible threshold tonight.

Do you remember when you were told that in order to achieve success, you needed to be the best one, to be number one in the class, to get the best grades, to go to college, to become "the boss"? Everything was about hard work, competition and struggle.

I strongly believe that there is something not quite right in this equation because, success is about joy, about completion. So how could you ever feel joy if you reach success when you have never practiced it? How can you live in joy if you have never tried it before?

All of us have our favorite myths to dispel about living in Mexico. We could go on forever about living peacefully in a quiet area of Mexico without fear of drug traffickers, drinking water, swine flu or some other such nonsense. But I’m tired of beating you over the head with all that, and besides you have Kristina’s wonderful video, Mexico Mythbusters, to go to for a great primer on Mexico and our area. In fact, if you haven’t seen it, go watch it now and come back here later.

If you've never visited Mexico, you may have some preconceptions about what you're likely to find here. I’m going to share with you a couple of my favorite misconceptions.

 #1: Tequila is best with a pinch of salt and lime

You may think that you should only drink tequila as a shot — doused with lime and salt—but you would be wrong!

Tequila is a drink to be appreciated and sipped—not slammed down in a shot, its flavor masked by salt and lime. If you need to do that, you're drinking the wrong tequila.

You need to know that drinking many of the higher quality, 100% agave Tequilas with salt and lime is likely to remove much of the flavor. These tequilas are usually drunk from a snifter glass, instead of a shot glass, and savored like brandy, instead of quickly gulped

One evening I was looking for an email address for one of our alumni, when I ran across something that made me go ‘hmmmmmmmmmmm.’ I wonder if Win from Red Deer, Alberta, Canada, knows Oral and Christine from Red Deer, Alberta, Canada? And do they know they were both participants on a Focus on Mexico program albeit on different programs and in different years? I mean…with a population of 90,000, it’s possible, isn’t it?

I found that so interesting that I started looking to see where our participants came from.

Do you think Ed and Susie know Linda?…they all live in Wetaskiwin, Alberta, Canada, with a whopping population of 11,673…do you think they know they all came on a Focus program? Do you think they’d like to get together and reminisce?

And, how far is North Vancouver from Vancouver, because Gord, Kathie, Jane, Alan and Jayne are from the north, and Gertrudis, Gerri and Barbara are from the city! And what about you three who live in West Vancouver…where are you relative to the others? Of course, some of these people live here now…so it would be a tad difficult to get together, but not impossible!

  How many times do we see a little puppy and immediately click and fall in love with it? They are so soft, they are so sweet, their breath smells so good… they look at you with their gentle eyes, and then you know, you just know, they are meant to be with you…

When I saw Gala, my beloved Golden Retriever, for the very first time, I could even see more, but not only with the eyes on my face, but with the eyes of my heart. She was sitting there looking as gorgeous as she was. I knew she was the right dog, and that was her last time to be considered a dog, because she became the Queen of my Heart.

By Kristina Morgan

Those of you who have read my past articles have read about the bromide here, a mineral in the volcanic basin of the lake that evaporates into the air. I call it our Happy Gas. But unless you live here you may not know about what I call the Hot Babe Fairy Dust, a phenomenon that occurs at Lake Chapala.

I feel like living in the Lake Chapala area has kind of taken me back in time. There’s the obvious fact that it is like stepping back 50-70 years here regarding the pace, culture and values but that really isn’t what I mean.

I’m turning 39 on March 8th but I look younger than I did when we moved back here in 2002. I feel younger now than I did when I lived in Colorado and I was in my late 20s and early 30s. I’m not the only one. Many of the people I talk to have had the same experience. Some people have chalked it up to this being a retirement area so there are always people older than us. I don’t think that’s it though. Because there are many young people who live here with their families, working or as entrepreneurs in businesses, or they have an internet business that allows them to work anywhere, or they are in the small percentage of people who came into money or retired very early.

Here’s what I think: Mexican men love women. And I think that’s the secret to our youthfulness as women. I’ll get to what makes the men who come here feel younger in a bit.

In a recent blog, I talked about Bill’s and my journey to Lake Chapala. I also talked a little about journaling. Throughout my life, I have always seen journaling as one of the easiest and most powerful ways for me to make sense of what was going on in my life. By getting my thoughts out of my head and putting them down in writing, I find I gain more clarity and feel I’m able to make better decisions because of my journaling.

After my divorce I started writing updates to friends and family about what was going on at that moment in my life. I think it was such a confusing time that I needed perspective to make sense of it, and email made it so convenient to share those thoughts with people I loved. I went through several years, one right after another, of my brother dying, my mother dying, a hysterectomy, my dog of 12 years dying and then the loss of my job. Through all of this I wrote in my journal or sent emails to try to make sense of all the jumble and confusion I had going on in my brain. 

After moving to Mexico, I saw journaling as a way to explain my new way of life to myself and others. It was so exciting, confusing and wonderful and a little bit intimidating all at the same time that I had to put it down on paper. In fact, it’s been said that journaling is one of the best ways to get over even mild culture shock when moving to a foreign country.

by Kristina Morgan

It still amazes me how much the people talk about why they moved to Lake Chapala. I think it’s a topic in just about every conversation I have ever had since moving to Mexico in 1993. Most of us are still thankful that we found this wonderful community and even though it is well-established it is still very open and very friendly to newcomers. Despite the simple, peaceful life we lead here at Lake Chapala with the second best climate in the world, the low cost of living and safety, I still get a lot of emails asking me about crime here from people wondering if we’re all just nuts to be living south of the border in a "dangerous place."

According to UN statistics, you're 3 times more likely to be a victim of crime in the U.S. than you are in Mexico.

Recent FBI statistics paint the picture even more clearly... The murder rate (per 100,000 people) in Baltimore is 43.3... in Washington DC it is 29.1... and in Detroit 47.3... But in Mexico, the murder rate again is just a third of that... about 13...

Unless you’re completely out of touch and don’t watch the news or read tabloids you’ve heard of 2012. There’s even an action-packed movie by Mel Gibson that promises to scare the heck out of you if most websites about 2012 haven’t already. So is 2012 the end of the world? The beginning of a shift in spiritual consciousness that heralds the Golden Age of humanity?  Or just a bunch of conspiracy-theorist hype?

A History Channel program titled "Decoding the Past: Doomsday 2012: End of Days" says a galactic alignment or magnetic disturbances could somehow trigger a "pole shift."

"The entire mantle of the earth would shift in a matter of days, perhaps hours, changing the position of the north and south poles, causing worldwide disaster," a narrator proclaims. "Earthquakes would rock every continent; massive tsunamis would inundate coastal cities. It would be the ultimate planetary catastrophe."

Living in Chapala, Jalisco, Mexico makes the Mayan prophecies that originated here particularly fascinating to me but I wondered what the Maya really think of their prophetic date and about being at the source of all this hoopla, especially where it concerns a prophecy that may be ladled out in heaping mugs of fact-distortion and fear—or mean the end of the world. So what do the Maya have to say about these interpretations of their calendar?

I had two very similar conversations this week. Both went something like this:

“I’m old now. I can’t take risks like I did when I was younger. It’s very important to me that I feel secure and I really don’t like change. I have basically had the same life for the past 45 years and I’m comfortable as I am. I am intrigued by the idea of visiting Lake Chapala to see if I might like it there but I really can’t see myself taking a risk by moving there to a foreign country….even if I like it.”

Both of these conversations left me questioning what is it about change that to one person feels positive and empowering and to another feels dangerous and uncertain?

What are the benefits in taking a chance?

You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.  ~Wayne Gretzky

Penelope Trunk’s Brazen Careerist says, “Take the question of where to live seriously. Don't let inertia push you toward a big-name city, the place you grew up, or your old college haunts. Make a conscious decision to live somewhere that will improve your quality of life by really understanding what your core needs and interests are–and will be.”

I found an interesting study published by Science Daily that addresses the differences in the ways that people deal with taking risks. They discovered that the willingness to take risks markedly decreases with age and they found, “What is particularly striking is that people who enjoy taking risks are more content with their lives.” (Emphasis mine.)

By Kristina Morgan

The three mountain ranges separating Lake Chapala from Guadalajara and the lake with its cool breezes makes this a paradise for those of us who live here in 74 degree average temps year ‘round. National Geographic rated it as the second best climate in the WORLD, after Nairobi, Kenya.

If you’ve read anything at all about the Lake Chapala area, word about the micro-climate has surely popped up more than once. Guadalajara calls itself the ‘Land of Eternal Spring.’ That’s pretty darn good, right? What could be better than that?!

Lake Chapala’s micro-climate.

I lived in a town just over the mountain from Chapala for a number of years and at first I was a skeptic about there being a big difference in the weather until I realized that during the winter there was frost on our windshield in the winter and no one from west of Ajijic to Riberas del Pilar outside of Chapala had that problem! I dressed in layers in the winter, too and would peel off my sweater in the car as I came over the mountain and rounded the bend to Lake Chapala.

It is also cooler in the warmer months.

I was once a skeptic but I’ve been cured. Raised in Texas and having spent 10 years in Colorado before moving to Mexico, I know what hot and humid is and I know what cold is. After being spoiled here I can’t imagine living in either place again.

We just moved to Chapala, and though it technically isn’t in the micro-climate we were able to tell a big difference immediately. I can’t imagine how much better it would be if I lived within what is technically considered the micro-climate.

What a unique and interesting place we live in! Viva Lake Chapala!

Okay…I have a beef when people say there’s nothing to do in Lake Chapala during the low season, April-September. I just want to say, “what planet on you on?” No, there’s no Little Theater and the concerts could be few and far between, but none of us have to sit around if we don’t want to.

I was recently trying to get in contact with Marianne O’Halloran about the Quilting Guild. I finally found out why she was so hard to get in touch with when she emailed me back, “The guild is somewhat active – totally new people running it. I go to some meetings; they have downsized but do have some new members this summer. I’m still quilting like crazy but also doing stained glass, cooking for CASA [Culinary Art Society of Ajijic, a group that's been tickling our taste buds since 1986], joined ASA [Ajijic Society of the Arts] and am a Cruz Roja volunteer (Mexico’s Red Cross], etc., etc. It’s been a little crazy this summer. And I went to Saudi for two weeks last March and had a great time. Quilt Festival in Houston comes up in two months in October.”

I just hate it when the U.S. media lumps all of Mexico into one big bad bowl. I loved what Linda Ellerbee said in her article “Mexico: One Journalist’s View”:

“Talking about drug violence in Mexico without naming a state or city where this is taking place is rather like looking at the horror of Katrina and saying, "Damn. Did you know the U.S. is under water?" or reporting on the shootings at Columbine or the bombing of the Federal building in Oklahoma City by saying that kids all over the U.S. are shooting their classmates and all the grownups are blowing up buildings. The recent rise in violence in Mexico has mostly occurred in a few states, and especially along the border. It is real, but it does not describe an entire country.”

The safety question comes up occasionally from participants wanting to come on a program. Here’s how I answered one couple:

Hola,

Kristina Morgan, one of our team members at Focus on Mexico, asked that I write you about my particular circumstances and how I feel about living in the Lake Chapala area of Mexico. I am delighted to do so.

I can truly understand your fears and trepidations. I am 63 years old and my husband Bill is 67. We moved here five years ago without even thinking of the things that you're worried about...we were totally clueless. We came on a Thursday, saw one house on a Friday and bought it on a Saturday! We went home and in four months, we sold two houses full of furniture, got married, retired and moved to Mexico! All these life-changing things in a few short months could possibly spell disaster for almost anybody. Add to that the fact that I had lived in Kansas City, MO my entire life, and in the last house I owned for 27 years. You can't ask for a better candidate to have fear and culture shock! All I can say is we have not regretted one instance of our decision to move to the Lake Chapala area of Mexico!

We also live in a village about 10 minutes from Lake Chapala surrounded by Mexican families. We have never felt a fear of walking down to the Plaza for a fiesta and coming back in the middle of the night. I would never do that in Kansas City. I remember one time walking down to visit a friend during the day. Walking toward me were about 10-12 Mexican teenage boys. I had no worries whatsoever. I remember thinking at the time that if this were Kansas City, and I was headed toward 10-12 American teenage boys, I definitely would have felt some fear...when boys get together in a crowd, things can go a little awry. All that happened in this particular instance was that I smiled and said, "buenos dias," and they all broke into smiles with greetings.

Now on to your specific anxieties. Believe me, I read the stories in my comfortable house 15 hours from the border, and think "holy cow...that's unbelievable! How shocking!" I'd like to put that in perspective

In 2008, the Top 5 Most Dangerous Cities in America are below. In parentheses next to them is how far Kansas City is from each of them:

1. 1. New Orleans (13 hours 34 minutes)
2. 2. Camden, NJ (18 hours 20 minute)
3. 3. Detroit (12 hours 15 minutes )
4. 4. St. Louis (3 hours 56 minutes)
5. 5. Oakland (25 hours 58 minutes)

Except for St. Louis, to me those cities are a lifetime away from KC. I have also visited New York as a single woman and ridden the subways alone and never felt afraid. We have had single ladies drive from the Laredo border to Lake Chapala (by themselves), without speaking a word of Spanish and arrive just fine with no tales of fear on the roads of Mexico.

Unfortunately, there are drug wars everywhere, and, yes, it does sound like a total combat zone in the border towns. I probably would not go to Ciudad Juarez or El Paso because of all the stories I read. However, Bill and I have driven back to Kansas City three times since we've been here...once through Laredo/Nuevo Laredo and twice through our favorite town...called the 'best little border town in Texas,' Eagle Pass/Piedras Negras. You never hear anything about Eagle Pass because there's no sensationalism to report...there's no 'fun' in that for the media!! We have never once felt threatened or intimidated. On the contrary, the many times we've been lost (we're both directionally illiterate!), all the people who have put up with our minimal Spanish were kind, very helpful and many have gone out of there way to lead us through a labyrinth of streets

I hope you do consider coming on a Focus program. There's nothing like 'seeing is believing.' You will also realize that the border is an incredible lifetime away from our little slice of paradise.

Hasta pronto! (See you soon!)
 
Karen

I am 63 years young, and I have a maid and a gardener twice a week in my home in the Lake Chapala area of Mexico. I almost wrote that twice! That’s how wonderful it makes me feel! I can’t keep the smile off my face!

As with many of our friends who retired in Mexico, my husband and I came to Mexico for the lower cost of living, temperate climate and leaving the rat race! I didn’t realize what I was getting into when we said lower cost of living! We actually have money left over to eat out (at the many excellent restaurants in the area), go to concerts and plays, shop in the many open-air markets and at the malls in Guadalajara, invest in health club memberships, go to the movies (of course, the matinee price is $20 pesos, so that one is easy!) and so much more.

Our maid Vicki and her husband Jose (our gardener) have become our friends. We have attended graduations and baptisms as well as fiestas at their house. They know everyone in town, so if we need something done…like re-sealing our roof for the rainy season or putting in a drainage system so our water doesn’t damage our neighbor’s house, Vicki knows the person to call for help, and she always makes sure she does the negotiating so we get the best price!

One of our expert speakers during our Focus on Mexico 8-day Educational seminars breaks it down even further for our participants detailing her life in Colorado versus her lifestyle at Lake Chapala. Some of the costs that you might find interesting:

US Dollars:
1. Doctor’s visit – from $15-$30.00
2. Dental visit – teeth cleaning - $25.00
3. Hair cut for men – from $4-$6.00
4. Ladies hair cut and permanent – $20.00
5. Auto wash – from $2-$5.00
6. 1-hour massage – $20-$30.00
7. Pedicure or Manicure — $10
8. Movie ticket (first-run movies in English) – $2.50
9. Gardener – $2.50-$3.00/hr
10. Maid – $3.00/hr
11. Property taxes – from $50 USD to $200 USD a year, with a 10% discount for early payment
12. Water – around $6 a month (paid annually)

We also have no need for air conditioning or a furnace here in the Lake Chapala area. And, generally, any expense in companies requiring a large labor force, like restaurants, construction or auto repair is a bargain. You’ll have to search to find a first-rate evening meal exceeding $20 USD from an unbelievably broad selection of excellent restaurants…European, Greek, Thai, Italian, Argentinean and more!

And, guess what? Many foreigners claim their cost of living in Lake Chapala actually goes down each year. Do you know why that is? Because the longer you live in Mexico, the more you learn to live in a peso-based economy. You’re not taking that credit card out every time you turn around. You’ll find that you don’t miss the things you thought you would miss once you move down here.

You also start thinking in more of a “Mexican” way. When Bill and I first arrived, things seemed so cheap compared to what we were used to. “Wow, only $150 pesos for THAT…let’s buy two!” Just yesterday, at the tianguis, we were looking at a similar $150-peso item and I said: “$150 pesos, you’ve got to be kidding!” And, I don’t know how it happened, but percentage-wise, we’re saving a whole lot more than we used to in the States and even more than we were saving five years ago when we moved to Mexico!

Bill and I moved to Lake Chapala for the same reason most people leave “back home.” We wanted a lower cost of living, a temperate climate, and we wanted to leave the rat race. It’s one of the best decisions we ever made. In fact, it is truly hard for us to understand why so many people still struggle with miserable climates, high utility and medical bills, and other services when they could live a much more enhanced lifestyle in Mexico for less.

Please join us on a Focus on Mexico program. You’ll realize, after hearing our guest speaker talk about Cost of Living and Taxes, why so many people are able to move up their retirement date. Maybe you can too.

In May 2008 I wrote an article announcing the Art Exhibition that would take place at Hospicio Cabañas on Maria Izquierdo's paintings. Some of the people who came in our Focus on Mexico Programs in Lake Chapala, Mexico, between May and September that year had the rare opportunity to enjoy her paintings when we took the Sunday tour of Guadalajara

As you might recall, Maria Izquierdo was born in San Juan de Los Lagos, Jalisco in 1902 and being one of the most important Mexican painters of the twentieth Century, she even had an exhibition in the Arts Center of New York City around 1929 using the landscape and traditions of Mexico as inspirations for her artwork. Her work celebrates popular culture and daily life in rural Mexico, offering us a different vision of the Mexican art as a forefront woman and artist.

Now we are very proud to share with you that on July 2009, among other world-famous deceased artists, musicians and authors, Maria Izquierdo's name was chosen as the name one of the impact craters discovered on Mercury last October.

Maria Izquierdo's paintings are exhibited permanently in the Blaisten Museum in Mexico City, when not traveling around Mexico and other countries.

Other craters in Mercury were named after the following personalities:

Charles A. Eastman, a Native American (Sioux) author, physician, and reformer who helped found the Boy Scouts of America.

Ernest Hemingway, an American writer and journalist who had a significant influence on the development of 20th century fiction.

So hurray for our Maria Izquierdo, one of the most important artists from Jalisco, Mexico.

Focus On Mexico offers 8-Day Educational Programs to Ajijic and Lake Chapala, Mexico (2^nd Best Climate in the World). Join us on a Focus program and learn why thousands of Americans and Canadians chose to retire in Lake Chapala.

Our programs offer the perfect balance; a wonderful vacation and an insightful, educational experience. Our expert speakers cover all topics: Health Care, Real Estate, Legal System, Immigration, Bringing Pets, Cost of Living, US Taxes for Americans, Non-Residency for Canadians, Living on the Lakeside, Investing in Mexico, Mexican Economy and much more...

You’ll get everything you need to help you decide if Lake Chapala, Mexico is the place for you, plus have a lot of fun doing it. Retiring in Mexico couldn't be better. 

By Kristina Morgan

Paul Callens, 47, is an independent film producer living in Ajijic. Paul had a near-death experience and saw his life flash before his eyes but Paul’s experience is especially interesting because he also saw glimpses of the future—reasons for living. Among those reasons he saw a movie he had produced and directed.

Callens waited for years as the idea percolated and became refined and now is the time to make it a reality. Callens is currently planning the filming schedule in anticipation for submission to the Sundance Film Festival. The movie will be entirely hecho en Mexico, or made in Mexico with all scenes shot here in the Lake Chapala and Guadalajara areas.

Good news for all of us here in Lake Chapala: The movie will be portraying Mexico and the Lake Chapala area we know and love without any of the Hollywood hype or disappointing clichés often found in movies about Mexico. It was important to Callens to dispel some of the myths and misconceptions about Mexico

The premise for the movie is based on a true story that announces that scientists in Spain have hacked into NASA’s computers and discovered that cold fusion exists. At the same time the clock is ticking for Mayan 2012 prophecy and this will tie in.

I have an extremely talented family and a special source of pride for me is that Psychostasia, my brothers’ band will be doing the soundtrack will be featured in the movie with my brother, Daniel, playing one of the main characters and my brother David will have a smaller role. They will also be the musical directors for the film.

But wait—there’s more! My husband is also in a band called The TallBoys and they are going to be in the opening and closing scenes and have a song on the soundtrack.

I don’t know where I was when musical talent was being passed out but clearly I missed it and am lucky to be in such great company.

And that’s not all! Remember my previous blog where I wrote about the Grateful Dead? The film will include a modern-day hippie commune. There are actually several of those that are thriving in Ajijic and for the sake of the movie we’re going to have the commune set up as if it continued from the 60s when the Grateful Dead were here. My husband and I along with our three kids have been invited to participate in the commune scene, which means we would be camping for a few days while filming. I’m not positive I will be doing this but my husband, Joel, and three of my kids (Lily, Maya and Noah) will be.

One of the main roles will be played by Ajijic’s own Cidney Supan, who will play the sister who comes from the U.S. to Mexico to talk some sense into her brother, the conspiracy theorist.

Tyler, my dear friend from New York City, who came here to relax, write a book on Independent Musician Promotion and garden has also signed on as part of the production team as the line producer and production coordinator and my mother, Adelle, will be assisting her by coordinating talent and crew.

For those of you living here in the Lake Chapala/Ajijic area: The movie is going to need some extras and volunteers willing to help in an event that promises to be full of amazing memories and fun, as we work together to get this done. If you’re interested in being a part of this, please email Adelle Cordero adellecord@gmail.com

By Tere Ruiz

When I was around 8 years old, I met my friend Maria who became a sister to me.  Ever since then, we’ve been Friends Forever and much more.  Sharing wonderful times of play while kids, lots of romantic stories while teenagers, and joyous moments while raising our children.

Maria and I went school together and we also went to the fair, traveling, partying, and much more.  When Maria and I were 35 years old, my dear friend was expecting her third baby and while giving birth to her, she had a thrombosis.  Her baby made it to this world on time, but my friend was very sick.  I really don’t remember how long she stayed in the hospital, the only thing I remember is that we couldn’t visit her there.  The information regarding her health would filter drop by drop through her maid, her husband’s secretary, or anyone who could reach her mom or someone for a couple of minutes on the phone.

I remember I used to cry all day long thinking of my beloved friend Maria and her three children who were about to lose their mom.

Finally some weeks later my friend came back and recovered miraculously from the thrombosis.  But of course it was months until we could finally reach her and have a “normal” conversation with her, if possible.

I recall that about 6 months later I finally was able to get to visit her in her house.  She was finally back to normal and she told me everything that had happened to her during those months.

When she was finished, I asked her to listen to my side story and how much I had suffered during those times.  When I was finished, I promised to her and to myself that I would always tell her how much I loved her from then on.  And I asked her to tell her children our story together, so they would know that they would always count on me and that I would always love them too.

I guess, in my despair, I lost the shame and fear to let everybody know that I love them.  And since that day, I love much more and I let everybody know how much I love them.  And it feels so right! 

I recovered lots of my “loves” from my life and I’ve “collected” many, many beloved ones since then, as a gift from Living in Lake Chapala and I’ve discovered that saying “I love you” is like a key that opens the heart of the people and that it is quite contagious.  Yes, it is contagious, because now, I have no shame or feel embarrassed to say “I love you” and I always get a lot of “I love you too!” back.

Is there anybody you love and haven’t told them so?  This is the right moment to do it, and it is so easy and priceless.  I am sure that if you have come in a Focus on Mexico Program, you already know that.

What I learned of this experience is that the most important thing when you say “I love you” is that you give a gift of love to the people, but you also give yourself a gift of joy, and guess what?, most of the times you also receive a gift of Love, back.

So just in case, we don’t get to see each other soon, I send you all my love, till we meet again or till we ever meet and become beloved ones.

Tere Ruiz-Rodarte: Director of Research and Development FocusOnMexico.

Focus On Mexico offers 8-Day Educational Programs to Ajijic and Lake Chapala, Mexico (2^nd Best Climate in the World). Join us on a Focus program and learn why thousands of Americans and Canadians chose to retire in Lake Chapala.

Our programs offer the perfect balance; a wonderful vacation and an insightful, educational experience. Our expert speakers cover all topics: Health Care, Real Estate, Legal System, Immigration, Bringing Pets, Cost of Living, US Taxes for Americans, Non-Residency for Canadians, Living on the Lakeside, Investing in Mexico, Mexican Economy and much more...

You’ll get everything you need to help you decide if Lake Chapala, Mexico is the place for you, plus have a lot of fun doing it. Retiring in Mexico couldn't be better. 

By Tere Ruiz

Living in Lake Chapala has brought many new experiences and wonderful satisfactions to my life.  Still the most important thing that this new life has brought me is the opportunity to enjoy myself and to do things that enhance my life physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Living in a big city in the past, with the everyday rat race that it involves, made it very difficult to spend time with myself and didn’t leave me any time to even think about what would really make me happy.  On the other hand, living in Lake Chapala, makes me happy, because it was a choice I made, no matter how much everyone told me I was quite crazy to leave a “wonderful” life in the city to move here. 

In this area, I live a relaxed life.  I have enough time to organize my schedule to accomplish all my professional activities, and still I have enough time to enjoy nature, my home, my life, my beloved ones and myself.

And one of the most gratifying things about living here is that no matter how much I didn’t have time to enhance my physical, spiritual and emotional life in the past, the time has come in which I have been able to start doing this and I have discovered that “It is not too late” to do it.

I never did very much exercise in my youth, but I made the decision that it was still time to start and stop regretting not doing it in the past and stop whining about my physical looks and performance. So just a week ago, I started going to Yoga Classes in my town and I believe this has been one of the best decisions I’ve made and also a blessing.

At the beginning I was worried and scared about not performing well.  I had the wrong idea about competing with my co-students and having to “do it better” than them, specially as I believed they were “older” than me, which now, accepting myself as not a young lady anymore, I can be honest, they are not older.  It felt bad to see that some lady could bend better than me, and make all 8 repetitions of each exercise when I could only make 3!

Then, I thought my pain would get worse, as I have been suffering what I believe must be rheumatism for the last couple of months.  And of course, that was also a big excuse for not exercising all this years: “it will hurt,” “I will sweat,, “I’ll look terrible”…

But guess what, I was totally wrong, it didn’t hurt worse, sweating is a good thing, and I don’t look terrible, I just look like everybody else looks after a Yoga session.

So if you, like me, are thinking that time has gone, that what you didn’t do in the past or did do, has no solution in the present, that at this or that age, things are not possible anymore, etc…  I have good news for you.  Every day is a new beginning, a new opportunity, a new blessing.  The past is gone and Today is a brand new day to start living your life as you want now.  Stop regretting about this and that and give yourself a chance of doing better than nothing, because this is my motto Today:  Doing yoga the best I can, no matter that it means only three repetitions of each exercise or even less, is much more than doing nothing, and in November as a birthday gift, I am going to give myself the opportunity to look at Lake Chapala from the top of the hill because I am going to go hiking all the way up and feel like the “Queen of the World.”  Would you like to join me?  I’ll be waiting for you!

Focus On Mexico offers 8-Day Educational Programs to Ajijic and Lake Chapala, Mexico (2^nd Best Climate in the World). Join us on a Focus program and learn why thousands of Americans and Canadians chose to retire in Lake Chapala.

Our programs offer the perfect balance; a wonderful vacation and an insightful, educational experience. Our expert speakers cover all topics: Health Care, Real Estate, Legal System, Immigration, Bringing Pets, Cost of Living, US Taxes for Americans, Non-Residency for Canadians, Living on the Lakeside, Investing in Mexico, Mexican Economy and much more...

You’ll get everything you need to help you decide if Lake Chapala, Mexico is the place for you, plus have a lot of fun doing it. Retiring in Mexico couldn't be better. 

by Kristina Morgan

I learned something really interesting the other day about Ajijic. The local old-timers said that in the 1960s the Grateful Dead came to Lake Chapala and created a hippie colony while they were here with their loyal “Dead Head” groupies, who are renowned for their dedication to the band’s music. Isn’t the Lake Chapala area full of surprises!?

The story goes that they lived in Ajijic and the Mexican authorities were none too pleased that these rowdy rockers from America landed in their sleepy fishing village with their wild hippy ways and their music that was completely foreign compared to their beloved mariachi.

When the Grateful Dead left their loyal followers decided well…not to follow and wanted to stay and keep running the commune in Ajijic. Their good plans didn’t come to fruition (and who can blame them for wanting to stay here?!) and the Mexicans asked them to leave.

The Grateful Dead were ranked 55th in the issue "The Greatest Artists of all Time" by Rolling Stone magazine. It’s nice to know they also benefited from the inspiration from their time spent at Ajijic. Many other artists, writers and musicians have followed suit.

An interesting note: I got this tidbit from an independent film producer who is making a movie here at our own Lake Chapala! More on that in my next blog….

May 10, 2009

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.”
~Marion C. Garretty

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there! This is one of those rare and special times when we share Mother's Day with Mexico! (It's always May 10 here).

This is a very special day in Mexico and it’s celebrated in colorful fashion. Children honor their mothers and thank them for their efforts in bringing them up and according to a custom in Mexico, “sons and daughters make themselves present in the house on the eve of Mothers Day on May 9.” Mexicans are very sentimental and as a rule, even today, the mother is the matriarch of the home regardless of her age. And, there are flowers for sale everywhere. And, if they can’t afford to buy them, there are beautiful wild flowers that mothers will appreciate even more!

The day is usually celebrated with gusto and some churches in Mexico organize a special mass. The highpoint of the event is the orchestra which plays “las mañanitas” and distribution of ‘tamales’ and ‘atole,’ the traditional early-morning meal to all local mothers.

Bill was awakened at 5:00 this morning by a band. Around 9:00 a.m., they were right outside our gate playing for a mother whose daughter (the daughter is around our age!) arranged it. They played several tunes for the neighborhood and then went down to the Ixtlahuacan Plaza where we heard the band and firerockets for several minutes. It is a very special day in Mexico, and I love to be a part of it all.

 If you are using Firefox and do not see the following video, click here to check if you need the firefox plugin... 

In his Mother's Day proclamation, President Barack Obama wrote, “Mothers are the bedrock of the American family—vital to their children's growth and happiness and to the success of our country…Mothers are role models, teachers, and sources of unconditional support. There is no substitute for the bond of love between mother and child, and nothing is more worthy of reverence.”

And, did you know that the founder of this special day was very specific about the spelling of the holiday. It was to be Mother's Day, singular and possessive. The idea was to recognize the maternal leader of each family, not just mothers in general.

Mother's Day has become a world-wide celebration. No matter the gift, the message is the same, "Thanks, Mom. We love you."

My friend and co-worker Tere shared a story of what Mother’s Day means to her and I hope it’s okay with her for me to share it with you:

“For the first Mother's day in my life, I had the Mañanitas played outside of my house, because, yes, those trucks that make so much noise promoting their product with loud speakers, can also be used sometimes to play Las Mañanitas all over the town for Mother's Day.

To me, as I haven’t had a Mother since I turned 5, Mother's Day was always a very dramatic day for me, assisting to mass and performing a festival to the mothers of my friends who would always congratulate me and pamper me on Mother's Day.

But since I had my daughter Andrea, who is my gift from Heaven, Mother's Day became "the Day" of the year, one of my favorites. I loved to see my daughter performing dances in the Mother's Day Festivals when she was a little girl. Last year, Andrea finally made it to my town after learning about buses and ways of transportation, at 4 pm, tired and with a dead flower in her hands. Today, a year after, she is on her way now, and I am sure we will enjoy a great Mother's Day together, cause she is my greatest gift of all. I love Mother's Day, and I always thank Mother Marie for protecting me and my daughter as a loving mother.

In a way, I always had lots of Mothers, as my friend's mothers always looked after me.

I also remember the times my brother and I fixed breakfast in bed for our mother, and celebrated her special day until her death in 1992. I still miss her and "talk" to her almost every day. I’ve also been very close to my step-mother, and felt especially appreciative of being able to call Margie today and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.

PLUS...I got two special calls today. One from one of my nieces that I’m very close to, Angie. She said, “Happy Mother's Day, Mommy #2. I love you and miss you.” I miss you too, my love.

And, our dear Ana called to wish me a happy mother’s day too, which touched my heart in ways I cannot even begin to explain. I was also able to wish her mother Cristina a great day too…what a special family they are…I love them all! I am very blessed with the family and friends I have, and, so, before I get too weepy, I’ll just say…Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere and to all women who mentor and influence the lives of others in a positive way!

Take a few minutes to wish that special mom in your life a wonderful day – qué tengas buen Día de la Madre.

During the program I searched and searched for the Redden book, which was compiled some years ago by a family member tracing our history. Finally, yesterday I found the book, scanned a number of pages and sent to Owen. He just got back to me with the following news:

• Marie,
     I am so grateful for the information you sent me. Your second great grandmother Jane King is my fourth great grandmother, so we are cousins.  I hope you're half as pleased as I am. Remember we were friends before we knew we were related. I still can't believe how small this world can be.  The information you send helped me make the conection.  Thank You, Thank You.
    Your sister-in-law, Mary Ann Fader Redden is also a cousin of mine through the Caldwells and of course David Young's sister is married to my cousin as well.  I think we are also related by marriage through the Brown family but haven't made the connection yet.

Indeed, it is a very small world!

I am tickled pink to find out Owen and I are related. I hit it off right away with Owen and his wife Jackie, well before we discovered our relationship. In fact the whole group of March 28th were exceptional, so much so that Karen made Certificates for them as they named their group 'Focus on Magic', and magical they were. We are looking forward to getting to know them all better as, one by one, they find themselves returning to Mexico to start their new lives; I have no doubts they'll all be here sooner than later. One of the great rewards of our job at Focus is the wonderful people we meet, many of whom become close friends.

What could be better?

I am a Lemming....25 things about Kristina

I decided to follow Karen's lead and post my 25 Random Things here, too.

1. I am really, really fascinated by people and interested in what makes them who they are.

2. I think everyone in my extended family and also my husband and his family and our kids are all musically talented-- except me.

3. If I could do anything I wanted to do and not have to worry about making a living – it would be travel, write, take photographs, read, meet new people, learn about new things, and get a massage every week.

4. This is very, very close to what I already do every day.

5. I was a wet-nurse for a time.

6. A woman asked me to take her baby and raise him as my own. (but not the same baby I was a wet nurse to.) I didn't do it but not because I didn't want to.

7. My best friend died 4 ½ years ago of cancer. I still miss her. Her death has shaped my life in many ways.

8. I love Buenos Aires, Argentina and want to go back but don't want to live there.

9. I love to travel and a few places I would love to go are: Brazil, Ecuador, Guatemala, Indonesia, Thailand and various places in Mexico.

10. I love dark chocolate. Really. It could become a problem.

11. I dreamed about each of my children before they were born and the dreams were uncanny regarding their personalities and certain details.

12. I found out I was pregnant with my son the same month my husband had planned to get a vasectomy.

13. I am a published photographer and think that may be an untapped passion of mine.

14. Writing is my first love and I admire anyone who can write really, really well.

15. I had a surgery to remove a bone in my foot after I broke it doing a pirouette. I am not a ballerina. Clearly.

16. My brothers are rock musicians and are amazingly talented!!!

17. I’m a bleeding heart and rescue animals whenever they are placed in my path. I do drive-by feedings, too.

18. I hate the cold and get chilblains. No, it's not my imagination. I really do.

19. Probably not very random but I love living in Mexico. I never saw myself here.

20. I was an editor for a war veterans website for about 5 years and was also a veterans advocate. I cracked a big story and helped a veteran get his benefits.

21. I love bright, bold colors: cobalt blue, turquoise, warm red, fuchsia, etc.

22. I love water...and though this sounds like a contradiction, it grounds me.

23. I have a bucket list and have crossed a decent number off.

24. I love to dance!

25. I have an irrational fear of cockroaches.

Well, I got 'tagged,' and at first I thought, "oh jeez...I don't want to do this!" But, being fairly narcissistic (is that a word?), I couldn't stop thinking about it. I (go figure) got obsessed with it. And, even though they were supposed to be quick, random thoughts, there's no way I couldn't put some thought into this. So whether you want to know about me or not, here it is...25 random, possibily inane, most likely boring, things about MOI!! I hope you enjoy. Feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear from you.

1.I used to be very shy....VERY VERY shy! Now I've gone over to the darkside of assertiveness!
2.My guilty pleasure movie is Lake Placid.
3.Over my lifetime, I've lived in 2 cities, 2 countries, 8 houses and owned 2 cats and 13 dogs!
4.I pretty much ALWAYS say what I'm thinking.
5.I love to watch the HGTV and the Food channels.
6.I love to dance and sing; and regarding singing, what I lack in quality, I make up for in volume.:-D
7.I think "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out."
8.I still miss my mother (passed away November 15, 1992.)
9.I love Bill more than I thought I could love anybody.
10. For me, roughing it is a Motel 8.
11. I love to laugh and I love the sound of laughter. One of my very favorite things about Bill is the fact that he laughs well and often, and he's not too macho to act silly!
12. I have seen someone die.
13. I feel that my life 'forked' in a very wonderful way, and I feel very, very blessed living in Lake Chapala, Mexico.
14. I believe the things people say to you have more to do with them than you.
15. I would like to be a size healthier.
16  I'm 63 and I still have a tendency to bite my fingernails. How lame is that???
17. I have not given birth to any children, but I am blessed with a wealth of nieces and nephews, wonderful siblings and stepchildren and grandchildren.
18. Two moments that took my breath away: I have a niece named after me, and another niece wore my wedding dress when she got married.
19. My favorite TV show is "24"...I love the unpredictabilty of it.
20. I am one of seven children...a blended, wonderful family that puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional! Two brothers passed away, so I am now the oldest.
21. I can be sarcastic and I'm trying to break myself of it. It's Bill's least favorite thing about me.
22. I think people who make fun of other people are lacking something in their own lives and the only way they can feel better is to put someone else down.
23. I love my job with Focus on Mexico. If I had written my perfect job description, this would be it.
24. I LOVE my friends and family, BUT I HATE emails that say if I truly care about someone, I will "pass this on."
25. I am an Internet junkie and love to order things online. Thank God I live in Mexico! :-D

On February 5th, 2009 I am choosing to celebrate my 99th Birthday. Want to hear why?

We moved to Lake Chapala, Mexico in 1995. In May 1998 we had just finished marketing a project called Birds of Paradise and decided to take our new puppy (Rusty) and the motor home and do a “walkabout” around Mexico to explore other areas.  We love Lake Chapala and wanted to learn more about the culture and people, so we set out to explore other areas. (Note: Important point for the following story - at that point, we kind of imagined ourselves ‘retired,’ never to work again.)

After doing a little research we had a number of places we wanted to stop off at. One of them was Catemaco, the Town of Witches and Warlocks, close to Veracruz in the Mountains. As we drove into town, we pulled up to one of the few locations where you could park a motor home. It was across the street from a wonderful cold clear lake. The town itself was as clean as could be and the people seemed very content living in their beautiful little town. Hardly a soul spoke English.

Ray’s Spanish was better (by a stretch) than mine, so I got him to ask around to see who the best ‘witch’ (more appropriately, cureando??) in town was and arrange an appointment for me to see her.

Next day, we arrive on her doorstep and enter a modest room which is her ‘office.’ A simple flimsy curtain covered the back door to her home, which was alive with activity from family members, including children. I couldn’t help but wonder if someone might spring through the curtain at any time during a treatment; at that moment I had no idea what kind of ‘treatments’ she even might do.

She asked me what I’d like to have done and through Ray, I told her I didn’t know, but asked her “what do you do?” She mentioned she reads cards and could do a cleanse, for instance. So after the cleanse (which is a whole different story), I had her read my cards with Ray translating.
It was uncanny how she zeroed in on my life and the people in it. Only one thing she said that didn’t jive. She said our business would flourish in 1999. (Recall, I said we had ‘retired’ in May 1998, and this was just a couple months into our so-called ‘retirement.’)

We left, and continued our travels around Mexico, forgetting my visit with my witch. We arrived home in November and through a series of events (yet another story), we ended up starting Focus on Mexico in January 1999. (We were so busy in the process, the prediction from the witch was buried in the past.)

We sold our condo and signed a contract to build a new home so we needed to find an eight-month rental. At the time, there was a scarcity of rentals, plus we have large dogs which added more limitations. Ray kept bugging the agent to find us a rental anyway and we needed it for October 1st. She told us about one that was being renovated, but wouldn’t be ready when we needed it. We followed her to the property and said we’d take it as we had faith it would be ready.

October 1st we were in her office and she handed Ray the keys and told us the phone number and address, which we hadn’t known when we saw it. We were quite astonished to learn that the phone number had 1099 (Oct 99) in it and the address was 99 Margaret Court. Then we remembered what the witch had told us: “1999 is going to be a very good year for your business.” Shortly thereafter we attended the Black and White Ball for the School for the Deaf charity and they had egg shells with numbers in them as raffles. I told them I’d take all with 99 or 9s in them.

I won:

1. A trip anywhere Continental flies
2. A dinner for two in a new French restaurant in Guadalajara
3. A weekend for two in a resort in Melaque

From that moment, I knew 9s were going to play a big part in my future.
So here we are coming up to February 5, 2009. Last year I ‘celebrated’ my 36th birthday (again) and I was deciding which birthday I’d like to celebrate this year. Then it hit me; I really must celebrate my 99th.

• 2009 is the 10th Anniversary of our starting Focus on Mexico (1999)
• I was born in 1949
• Before Feb 5th, 2009 I am still 59

Today is Feb 6th and last night we had our Farewell party for our Focus on Mexico program and as is tradition in Mexico, I got my ‘face in the cake’ to celebrate my 99th birthday and got to have a whack at the Piñata. For lunch, we took the group to the estate of Omar O’Rourke and they graciously also had a cake for me (and flowers) and low and behold, another ‘face in the cake’ opportunity.

I think everyone wants to raise their kids giving them every advantage possible. So why on earth would a family from Colorado pack it all up and move to Mexico? Everyone knows Mexico is dangerous; a seething hot-bed of banditos and drugs. Right?

Wrong! Lake Chapala isn’t on the drug corridor and I have never even seen a bandito in all my years living here. Thanks Goodness! Those would have definitely been deal-breakers for us. We never would have stayed here if we felt like we or our children were in danger.

We had lived in rural Mexico for five years before we went back to Colorado for a few years. Everyone in Colorado seemed relieved that we had come to our senses and were finally home. But Joel and I had gotten a taste of a different way of life while we were in Mexico that resonated with us on a core level and kept whispering to us to come home.  (Not Colorado—MEXICO! Isn’t life funny that way?!) We have since learned that the old saying around here that ‘once the dust of Mexico settles on your heart you’ll always come back’ has proven true for us.

There was nothing really wrong with our lives in Colorado. Nothing broken; nothing needed to be fixed. We owned a nice house and I was a stay at home mom, homeschooling our kids and Joel had a great job as a Systems Analyst. We had (and still have) great friends and family there. We were plugged into our community and the kids had swimming lessons, dance lessons, etc.

One day, I realized that it would be very easy to accidentally stay in Colorado--forever. It was then that Joel and I talked about what that would mean and living our lives on purpose. We said that if we were going to stay in Colorado we wanted it to be by choice and not happen simply by default. We made a list of pros and cons about both and at first blush it looked largely equal until we rated each pro and con on its level of importance. It was then that Mexico won by a landslide.

The gentle pace, simplicity of life, lack of materialism and emphasis on family values were all things we wanted in our lives. We wanted to give our kids the chance to be bicultural and bilingual. We wanted them to understand what it is to be a minority. None of us understood what that feels like until we moved to Mexico. I wouldn’t trade that awareness for anything now.

Our kids have freedom here like Joel and I did when we were growing up. They can ride their bikes and explore here which wasn’t even an option in Colorado. They can be children here.

And I know this is a blog about raising my kids in Mexico and so I don't want this to be misconstrued, but even Joel has learned to play more since coming here! He's joined a band and spends more of his time making things and having fun with all of us.

And I don’t know if it’s just the people we know or if it could really be true but in general the kids here are more respectful, kind, and happy and contribute more to the community than I have seen in America. Where is the teenage angst?!

There really is no such thing as a ‘generation gap’ here. Mexicans dote on their children and cherish their elderly. Most often, three generations are living under one roof and helping each other out.

Is Mexico perfect? No way! But even that offers valuable life lessons about patience and having a sense of humor and realizing that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Feeling entitled or like society owes you something are not even on the radar here.

Joel and I believe we’ve given our kids an advantage in life by living in such a friendly and safe place where innocence and family bonds are strongly in place. The language, culture and weather are gravy. It’s like stepping back in time 50 years and growing up in that era instead of this one.

I realize that this is a very personal decision and one size doesn’t fit all but for us it has given us far more than we expected when we worked on that pros and cons list all those years ago. Mexico is an adventure…and an experience rich with discovery along the way. 

A couple of my kids weigh-in:

Lily, 14 years old:

Living in Mexico has taught me a lot. Age is unimportant when it comes to friendships. I have friends in their 60s and 70s and friends as young as four years old.

I have more freedom and liberty here. People trust people more. Everybody is friendly and says hello when they see each other on the streets and ask how my family is doing.

There's also a lot of culture here. There's people here from all over the world and nobody feels like they need to change or become someone they aren't...it's very open that way. 

I love Mexico. It is my home. But I still want to see more of the world and now that I have had the experience of living and learning another language and making new friends I know that anything is possible.

Maya, 12 years old:

My life here has been simple and calm. I have a lot of friends here, and it’s easy to be who you want to be. There’s no such thing as the “new fashions” for many people, so we go our own way, living how we want to live.

Also, there is a theatre here where you can do so many things. It is a great place to be when you want to really see the life and freedom there is in acting, singing, playing, telling jokes and just having a laugh with friends.

I am involved in of course, the theatre, I am writing several books at the moment, and love singing and hanging out with my best friends.

I wouldn’t mind staying here all my life; although I would like it if my best friend in the States, (Halley) would come down… say… every weekend!

So the sentence that would just finish this little speech up would be “I love living in Mexico!”

Anyone who knows me knows I like to eat! :-D And, I’m blessed with a husband who likes to cook. However, occasionally we find ourselves out and about early in the day and realize we haven’t eaten anything yet. Today we found ourselves turning into the Beer Garden in San Antonio because we were hungry, we didn’t know where else to go, and it was open! Bill and I often like to say “God takes care of idiots!,” and this was no exception. Now I know we all have different tastes in food, but in my opinion, this is a restaurant I will return to on a regular basis.

The place was empty, and after eating there, I cannot understand why. It was clean, the service was wonderful, the food outstanding (and very reasonable), and the music a delight! I will admit if we want a good ol’ American breakfast, we usually go to Mom’s for eggs over easy, biscuits and gravy, etc. However, the menu at the Beer Garden was probably the most unique I’ve looked at in the area, and I could hardly decide what I wanted to eat.

I obviously haven’t tried everything on the menu, but I may work my way through the menu bit by bit. Let me give you some examples:

On their breakfast menu, I especially liked the title of their fruit section…Forbidden Fruits! The ingredients of one of their juices entitled “To diet” were “light milk, orange juice, strawberry, wheat germ, natural honey, a bit of banana and cinnamon.” The “For the Heart” juice included “Grapefruit, cactus, celery and spinach, sweetened with honey.” Can’t wait to try either of them.

However, today I was more in the mood for comfort food…I was having a bad morning, which started with getting up late and ended with a full physical before breakfast. So I immediately went to their “From the Farm” section. Reading their menu was like reading a great book with a wonderful cast of characters (did I tell you I really like to eat?!). They have unusual selections, and I’m not going to name them all, because I think you ought to go see for yourselves. Bill had Mexican-Style Eggs: Scrambled eggs with hot pepper, onion and tomato; garnished with chilaquiles and beans. He said they were delicious and the hot pepper just hot enough. I went for the Toluca-Style Eggs: scrambled eggs over a tortilla with roast chorizo, fresh cheese, avocado and cream all seasoned in a slightly hot green sauce. It was absolutely delicious…a great combination of flavors and the green sauce was perfect…not too hot, not too bland…it was just right! And, I’m very fond of and fussy about my chorizo, and this was perfectly roasted. The side dishes that came with our breakfasts were a choice of potatoes (crispy hash browns), fried beans with cheese, or cactus. And, if you want, they will use only egg whites in your selections. They’re a very accommodating restaurant.

We’ve eaten dinner at the Beer Garden with a group and had a delightful time.

I think we all had the full steak dinner (steak of your choice), caesar salad and fries for around $11.00USD. They also serve wine, mixed drinks and beer, as well as flaming desserts! They have something for everyone with a broad range of entrees including arrachera, chicken, fajitas, molcajetes, fish and many varieties of shrimp (diabla, Jamaica, tamarindo, kiwi, mango, etc.!). I haven’t eaten lunch there yet, but their menu items include Marlin-smoked taco, salmon and cheese sandwich, corned beef sandwich, shrimp burger, crepes, soups and more. The owner let me borrow a menu!

My two favorite sentences on the menu are “Dear Customer: we kindly ask for your patience in the preparation of your order as we try to provide the highest quality cuisine,” and “If you have not found the dish of your choice, please ask for it and we will do our best to put it on your plate.” Do you love it or what?

And, last but not least, let’s talk about the music. It was toe-tapping enough that I wanted to get up and dance with the owner! During the time we were there, among others, we heard the themes from “Exodus” and “Bridge on the River Kwai” as well as tunes like “Hernando’s Hideaway,” and a great Mexican dance number that we’re sure was from an Astaire-Rogers movie! Okay…it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but we loved it. After my terrible morning, it put me in an absolute euphoric mood, and you can’t ask for much more than that.

So…try it. Hope you like it. If not, please accept my apologies. If so, please let me know!

In 2006 I had to be on bed-rest for two months. I don't want anyone to worry--I am fine now! I just wanted to add my thoughts about that time because going to bed for 6 weeks to 2 months can change a person's perspective on a lot of things and I wanted to share this time with you. 

June 2006

I was about to learn what it meant to be the proverbial princess in the ivory tower with a honking fog-horn and a box of bonbons. 

Honestly, had I known the recovery time after the surgery was going to be so difficult I probably wouldn't have had it done.

The biopsy results were benign, thank God. After losing two young girlfriends to cancer in the last 2 years I'm no stranger to the realities of how quickly life can be turned upside down and end in just a few short months.

As far as it is in my control, I would be there in a heartbeat if one of my friends or family needed my help. I would insist that they allow themselves to be pampered and value themselves and their health enough to take their down-time in stride...

Why have I treated myself any differently?

Learning to value myself has been a journey for me. The past 5 weeks have taught me a lot about who I am. Life is short, this is not a dress rehearsal, blah, blah, blah. There's nothing quite like a lot of time to reflect on where you are in life. No one else can do these things for me--I have to take care of myself. Finding out who I am and what I want out of life is just the beginning. Fully engaging in every moment is my goal. 

I railed against being stuck in bed but at some point my room stopped being my cell and I began to call it my Ivory Tower. It's where I "live" for now. Occasionally the court jesters come visit me or my knight in shining armor brings me tacos. LOL 

But calling it my Ivory Tower is more than just a playful term...it reflects the change in me and what I deserve from myself in my life.

For 1 or 2 more weeks I will be up here, gnoshing on dark chocolate, watching guilty pleasure movies, playing board games with my kids, editing photos, catching up on letters that have needed to be written, talking and laughing with my wonderful friends who've been with me thru all this and then.....The Dr. imposed 'lock' will spring and I will be free to leave. But the "princess" who walks out of the door will not be the same person who schlepped in 6 weeks ago because I have realized my worth. Now, pass me the bonbons! :)

posted by Focus_on_Mexico | 12:08 PM
1 Comments:

Anonymous Walt said...

    And I ate all three

He definitely takes one of our tips to heart, "Treat haggling as part of the fun in the market place...a form of social interaction rather than a matter of life and death." As we like to say: "Keep a smile on your face. Be friendly. Don't get mad. Don't let the 'game' get 'personal.'"

After it was all over, Richard said, "I love negotiating! I thought it was a lot of fun. I like walking away with a win-win for both of us! Can't wait to move down here and start doing it on a regular basis." Our hats are off the Richard...it took about a half hour, but he got quite a bargain; however, since it's a surprise for his wife, we won't tell you what!

On Nov 4, 2006, a group of happy contributors got together on Richard Tingen's property on the lake and danced the afternoon away for the Cruz Roja. Music by Ronnie & The Juniors, lots of food and drink, raffles and a 50-50 giveway (what more could you ask?) and a party for all ages came together for a roaring good time that Saturday. GIL, the Lakeside Realtor's Group, knows how to throw a good party, and this was no exception.

We like to get there early on the first day of the show to grab some of our favorite pieces, which go fast. And, there's always a line at Jalisco's Centro de Integracion Tapalpa, A.C, a very special school whose children create animals and sculptures of whimsical and imaginative design made of papelmalecho (papier-mache).

"I kept thinking it was all exaggeration...that it all sounded too good to be true. But, you know, since we've been here, I realize you didn't overstate anything...this really is too good AND it's true! We've had a great time!" Thank you, Paul & Virginia...we enjoyed you a whole lot too!

Orozco reached the summit of his art with the frescos he painted in this building. They include a historical panorama of Mexico showing the pre-Hispanic world of the great Indian civilizations, the Conquest, visions of the downtrodden, public service as opposed to demagoguery, the perils of alienation and dictatorship, the Revolution, creative activity and a man engulfed in flames, evoking a Promethean theme which had appeared in his previous work. The twenty-foot-high figures stare down at you, including Aztecs, severe Spanish Conquistadors, innocent looking priests, and leaders of the Mexican Revolution such as Hidalgo and Allende.

This was a chance to mock the Spanish ruling class by doing a dance hunched over like old men with canes. They would wear a mask looking like an old European (pink face with white hair). The masks are usually gap-toothed and the dances mimic old men with hunched backs and walking canes. This stance is alternated with bouts of lively leaping and dancing, in a "world turned upside down" type of comedic presentation. The dancers leap about with little grace, which gives rise to much laughter at their manner.

Greg was convinced someone had accidentally picked up his glasses instead of theirs. I laughingly asked, "did you try them on just in case?" Greg said, "I don't remember my glasses looking like this." But he tried them on, and lo & behold, they were his!

We didn't let him forget it. Turns out Gary knew they were Greg's. He just needed a place to put his "unmentionables," and the glasses were in the way, so he decided to have a little fun with Greg. However, Gary did say he cleaned them first before giving them back! Wonder what he meant by that?

Our groups do have fun, and really form some fast friendships during their time in the Lake Chapala area.

These young ladies were awesome. They were not only wonderful to listen to, but quite expert at the various instruments they were playing: guitars, trumpets, violins, vihuela (small guitars), and guitarrones (large six-string versions of the vihuela). The ladies wore a skirted version of the traditional traje de charro, which is the riding suit worn by the Mexican horseman. They had great stage presence and even came into the audience to share their wonderful voices up close and personal with us. It was a great evening of listening and dancing.

Sue Ochs even had the presence of mind to grab the tip money collected by a not-so-steady-on-his-feet concert goer and deliver it to the young ladies as an extra thank you for the marvelous evening.

However, I have to share with you a particularly funny and wonderful moment. At the party, Berta (our driver Manuel's wife), who is a wonderful singer, sang a couple of love songs to us for our anniversary. What luck...the party was the same night as our third anniversary!! Rodrigo, a very handsome young man with Stewart Title decided to sit next to me to tell me what she was singing to us (in Spanish, of course!).

The words were just beautiful, and if you saw all the pictures, you’d realize I got a little emotional at times! However, the funny part is that I kept leaning farther and farther over to Rodrigo as he was whispering all these 'sweet nothings' in my ear until I realized what I was doing...that's the second picture.

It was a wonderful time and a great moment..

One of the experts who talks to our group at one of the University at the Bar sessions is Judy King, who speaks to our participants about the history and culture of Mexico. During our last group, she mentioned the cornfield we've all noticed on the hillside high above Ajijic. I remember looking at it, but not really thinking too hard about how it got there. I suddently realized how much perseverance it must have taken to plant and harvest that corn. First, the farmer would have to tote his seed up by his strong back, unless he was lucky enough to have a burro he could depend upon. And, you know, there probably isn't any water up on that mountain. He would either have to lug it up there or pray the rains give him a healthy crop during the growing season. Just enough rain, of course! If the corn's too full of water, it will spoil. So many things to worry about!

And, then think, when this corn is fully mature (anywhere from 5 to 7 feet tall), it would, of course, have to be harvested by hand. Anybody who plants on the side of a hill isn't going to have any machinery. So he probably just cuts it with a cane knife, and sells it with the husk on.

And, then I can't help but wonder how he gets all that corn down that steep hill. Even with his little burro, it's got to take a lot of trips. Without a burro, I can't even begin to contemplate the effort it must take. And, when he finally does get all that corn down to the village, does he get enough money for it for his family? To me...it seems like an awful lot of effort for not a lot of return. For him, it probably means a better life for his growing family. I don't know about you, but I will certainly look at that patch of land above Lake Chapala a whole lot differently now. I wish that farmer well and, you know, I see people selling roasted corn all the time in Ajijic. I think it's about time I stop and have some.

She opened her purse and took out her wallet and went directly to a piece of paper folded very carefully in a special pocket. As she unfolded the paper, she shared with us a very special Christmas story that she is allowing us to share with you.

A few years ago she was working long hours and very hard in order to give her twin boys a good Christmas. However, even with the extra work, she had very little money to spend on presents.

She bought all she could afford and decided that it was time to discuss with the boys where the presents really came from...that it was her who bought the gifts, not Santa Claus or the Infant Jesus. Her boys seemed okay with what she told them, and they opened what presents there were, and after a while, they all went to bed. When Ana awoke the next day, she found the note (pictured above) from one of her sons. I have attempted to translate the note as best I can, and hope it conveys the feeling we saw as Ana explained what it meant to her:

"Mommy Merry Christmas

Thank you for the ball. This letter is to give something very special for you

1. You told us that we would not receive gifts if not from you.
2. The gifts are not the meaning of Christmas but the love and all that that lives inside.
3. This year I am grateful for the time you give as I know you are very hard-working, although I don't get to see you.

Merry Christmas Mommy

From Emy For Mommy"

Ana carries this note with her always to remind her that the true meaning is not what you give or can afford to give, but what is given from your heart and with your love.

We are very touched by this story, because it also reminds us of the true spirit of Christmas...that it is the love of family and friends that is the true gift of the season. We hope you have had a wonderful and special holiday this year.

We rolled out of bed on November 24, 2006 (American Thanksgiving) at 6:00 a.m. It was the final day of our friends', Ray and Janet Gillard from Edmonton, visit and we had to get them to airport for an 8:30 a.m. flight. A quick cup of coffee and we were on the road. A mere thirty minutes later we pulled into a parking spot at the airport, waited with them through the check-in procedure and off they went. Simple enough; now it was time to head home. On the way back the plan was to stop at our new house and take some pictures of the construction. We were soon to find out that although I would definitely be taking pictures today, none would be as intended.

As we pulled out of the airport parking lot and turned the corner we could smell something burning. Before we had a chance to wonder about it, POOF! The hose belt to the radiator blew up. Great. Sunday morning on the side of the road, at the airport - half way between Guadalajara and Lake Chapala. Ray looks at me and asks if I had my purse with me. We were obviously going to be in need of some pesos. I slowly shook my head, no. He hadn't thought to bring his wallet. Who thinks of these things at 6:00 a.m. in the morning. Then I suggested he phone Bill and Karen. Whoops, we both forget the cell phones also. Great. Plus of course neither of us had any I.D. whatsoever.

While we stood there pondering our situation with the hood of the Honda in "help" position, a taxi pulled up behind the Honda and got out to see if he could help us. Within seconds a police car pulls up behind the taxi to see if he can help. Once they saw the big hole in the hose the taxi driver asked Ray "Tiene dinero? (Do you have any money?)" Ray reached in his pants pocket (which were luckily the ones he had worn the night before) and found $400 pesos (around $40 U.S.). The policeman takes a tool off his belt and dismantles the hose and Ray and the cab driver take off in search of a parts department that just might be open on Sunday.

I stay with the Honda. The cop gets ready to head off and tells me that he will be in the area if I need anything and will keep an eye on me. We both smile and off he goes. (Thank goodness he didn't ask to see our papers.)

Five minutes later, another policeman stops to see if he can help. I explain (can't believe he actually understood me) what happened and he pushes the Honda up the road a little (off the curve) as the traffic is picking up. Then he tells me that he will be in the area if I need anything and will keep an eye on me. We both smile and off he goes.

A little while later Ray and the cab driver come back with a new (generic) hose and thankfully they also bought a screwdriver (the cop with his tool back on his belt was long gone) and installed the new hose. Ray pays him $150 pesos for all this effort (we were now down to $100 pesos). With a big sigh saying "that wasn't so bad", off we go - heading home once again. Not quite so soon. One mile up the road we smell something burning. Oh no, not again. Ray pulls over just in time so at least the new hose doesn't explode again. Now what do we do with our last $100 peso note and still no phone. Up the road a few yards is an Oxxo store (like a 7-11, you know the ones that are always open.) Thank you God. We wait till the Honda cools down a bit then slowly drive it up the road and pull off at Oxxo with a wonderful phone hanging outside. Ray goes in and with the $100 peso note buys a phone card. Luck of lucks I had Bill and Karen's phone number in my head.

Ray gets Bill on the phone and asks Bill to bring his truck, pick up some rope along the way, and come out and tow us home. Unfortunately the battery is dead. Great. Bill suggests (bless his little heart) that we call the Green Angels (those wonderful mechanics hired by the Mexican government to patrol the highways). Ray explains we are a little short on money and asks Bill to call the Green Angels from his place in case he gets stuck on hold.

So for about ten to fifteen minutes we make small talk waiting for the Green Angels to arrive. A car (that had certainly seen better days) pulls up and out comes a father, mother and four kids. The kids run for the four mountains of gravel beside the store and I watch wondering what they are so excited about. Then the roar of a plane overhead (remember we are still very close to the airport). The family had come out to watch the planes go overhead. Miguel (whose name we will never forget) comes over and tells us he's a mechanic and offers to help.

Within seconds, feet off the ground and head buried in the hood, Miguel is pulling things apart and talking to himself. Then he pops back to the ground, over to his car and lifts out his tool box, a five gallon paint drum. This he turns upside down on the ground and everything falls into the dirt. He pushes things back and forth till he finds the required tools and back to the Honda.

About this time I am having trouble keeping a straight face. I whisper to Ray to ask if he thinks it appropriate if I discreetly pull out my camera and start filming this happening. I knew I had to write this up as a Blog. So out comes the camera and I start shooting.

Miguel works away happily on his own for a while, then hollers for Maria Guadalupe, his wife, to bring him a different tool. Now she is under the hood with him and he is giving her a lesson in mechanics on the spot. The four toddlers age six, five, three and two are burying themselves in the gravel as they eat their sticky candy. Yum. I get it all on film with no one really noticing. The two year old falls and hurts his finger and comes crying back to Mom. So I take his picture and show it to him to calm him down. He is fascinated.

The other kids start posing and wanting their pictures taken. Now I have a license to shoot and no longer need to be discrete.

Still no Green Angels; hey who cares. We got our own little mechanic. And I am getting great material for my Blog. Along comes a big tow truck and stops to talk to Ray and asks if we called them. Ray explains no that we had called the Green Angels but they hadn't arrived and now we have Miguel so we are in fine shape. Thanks but no thanks. The truck drives away. Ten minutes later he is back and says our friend Memo called him to come and we need to pay him. Great. Memo as it turns out is the nick name for Bill. Remember Bill was going to call the Green Angels who by the way offer their services free, courtesy of the Mexican Government. Free we can afford. $450 pesos, the going rate for the tow truck (who Bill called when he couldn't get the Green Angels), we don't have, plus Ray explains we have it under control, we have Miguel. The nice tow truck man explains that though we aren't going to use his services, our friend did call them out and we will still need to pay. He kindly offers to come by our house tomorrow and receive his fee. Thanks so much. See you tomorrow. (He came the next day and Ray paid him without complaint. Afterwards we both agreed that it was great that Bill did call the Tow Truck as they could have been our only hope. Plus we found out that Bill came out in his car to find us and we were of course long gone.)

He no sooner pulls away when Miguel shows Ray this handful of parts and says we need to go buy some new ones. Ray and I look at each other. It is quite clear by the look of Miguel's car that we certainly can't hit them up for a loan. Ray sheepishly asks can Miguel (wife and four kids) bring Ray and I back to Chapala to our house to get some money. After we get money, we will go buy the parts. No problem at all Miguel says and everyone piles on board. Lucky for Ray he gets in the front seat with Miguel. Maria Guadalupe and the four darlings and I are happily clustered in the back seat. During the trip the kids are fascinated with me and keep touching me and trying to chat with me. We all have a good laugh as we try to communicate. Little Maria (the five year old) gives me a bite of her candy sucker. You remember the one that she was licking in the gravel pile. Goodness. What could I do? Wasn't so bad.

Since Sunday can be a busy day with all the families out, there was quite a bit of traffic and Miguel wasn't too keen on driving bumper to bumper so he turns on his police siren and we careen through the traffic, lickity split with all the drivers turning their heads in question as we whiz by. I am still flashing pictures from the back seat.

We come up the hill to come into Chapala and as we come down the other side Miguel says to Ray "no frenos". Even I know that this means "no brakes". Using the hand brakes Miguel gets us to a spot where we can pull over. Under the car and he confirms, "frenos no funciono". Here we go again. No worries, back into the car and using the hand brakes Miguel drives all the way around the Libramiento and stops in front of the Refractionario (parts shop). They are closed. Of course, it is Sunday. Plus we still have no money and we are pretty sure that Miguel isn't overflowing with pesos either.

Ray is now standing beside Miguel thinking to himself that one of our friends really should drive by right about now. He looks across the street at the Pemex and there are our friends, Bev and Bruce Fraser, getting gas, bless their little hearts. Over we go and explain the situation and ask if they can run us to our house to get some money and then we'll come back for Miguel and find a parts shop that is open so he can fix his car and then get back to ours, we hope. So Bruce and Bev drive us to our house. Ray asks me if I just want to stay home and he'll go back and work with Miguel and get the car and truck fixed. I said absolutely not. I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Ray runs in and gets his wallet, and then off to the ATM machine for some money; as it turns out we don't actually have any at home either. Ray quickly runs into the ATM and just as quickly runs out. The debit card was not in his wallet. It was in front of my computer right where I left it the day before. Back to the house for the card and this time we pick up both cells and my purse. We're good for anything now. We get back to the ATM machine and there are three ladies inside (and a small line out building outside) who don't know how to make it work.

We told Miguel and Maria Guadalupe we'd be back in ten minutes and that was almost an hour before. After fifteen or twenty minutes Ray buts the lineup and goes in and helps the ladies figure out how to the use the machine and finally, after each taking their turn, they are out. After the line up fades, Ray gets some pesos and back to Miguel and his car.

No Miguel. Maria Guadalupe explains that Miguel has gone (on foot) looking for an open parts shop. We jump back in with Bruce and Bev and drive in the direction that Maria pointed. All the way through Ajijic and nothing, back to check with Maria - Miguel isn't back yet. We drove through San Antonio and back to check with Maria - Miguel isn't back yet. Bruce and Bev are thinking they could be sitting at home enjoying their Sunday so graciously offer us to drive them home and keep their car as long as we need it. We get her to give us some blankets to cover the seats, just in case.

On the way back we find Miguel who is happy to sit on the blankets as he has quite a bit of grease on his person. Miguel confirms that it is Sunday and there are no parts shops on the Lakeside that are open on Sunday. So it is back to near the airport where Ray had got the part earlier. Miguel instructs Maria and the kids to stay with his car (although we were all prepared to bring them along). Ray offers her $200 pesos (we have lots now) to buy the kids some lunch and points to the Subway across the street. She immediately refuses and Ray had to convince her it was for comidas for the kids in order to get her to accept the money.

We get to the parts shop and Ray and Miguel go in for the parts. Ours are no problem but they don't have the right part for Miguel's brakes. No problem. They get two different parts and do a Mexican fix. Sadly I forgot to take pictures for this part. Now off to the Honda and everything will be fine. Not quite. Miguel had brought from his ten pound pail the right tools for two of the parts he needed to replace on the Honda, but alas not for the third part which controlled the power steering.

Ray explains I will need to drive it back to Chapala with no power steering. After all he is going to drive Bruce's vehicle. I shake my head no and Miguel jumps in with me and drives us back with Ray following in the other vehicle. Fortunately we don't have a built-in siren but we managed to go at lightening speed all the same.

We get back to Miguel's car and the family and Miguel pulls out the necessary tool and finishes fixing our vehicle first. As his head is under the hood Maria goes over to Ray and tries to give him the change from lunch. Ray refuses and she tries again. Miguel has his back to us so Maria quickly smiles and sticks the change in her pocket. Our little secret.

Then Miguel tells us it is ok for us to head off and leave him there to fix his. Ray told him absolutely not. We weren't leaving until we knew his car was fixed and they were all right. Miguel was worried about us wasting any more of our day so he literally was running back and forth to fix his car hollering to Maria for this part or that and to try the engine while he was underneath adjusting.

I of course am still taking pictures. I notice Maria watching me and I am sure she is wondering what I am finding of such interest. So I get Ray to explain to her what I am doing. This is going to be a Blog story on the Internet. Maria breaks out in a big grin and hollers to Miguel still under the car that he is going to be a famous mechanic in Canada and the United States through our Focus Blog on the internet. That brought laughs all round.

Finally Miguel finishes and takes the water can he uses to add water to the car and washes up a bit and wipes his hands on his pants to dry. Ray asks him what we owe him and Miguel tells us nothing, he wasn't working in the shop, it was his day off so no charge. Ray asked what the shop would charge for such as day as this and Miguel quietly says $400 pesos so Ray gave him $700 and after a fashion Miguel agrees to take it. Maria is delighted. Christmas is right around the corner.

I ask if I can take their picture and Miguel, Maria and Ray cozy up for the shot. As we are saying our thank you's and goodbyes Miguel and Maria invite us to Christmas at their house. They say they don't have a lot but would be honored if we joined them for some Pozole and maybe a little Tequila. I said only if I can bring my camera for the "rest of the Blog story". They agree and we are due to go there in a few days from now. We can't wait. We bought some toys to take with us along with some food.

My heart swells with pride at our new Mexican friends and their sense of natural giving without hesitation. What started for them as a free Sunday to take the kids to see the planes ended up with Maria and the kids sitting in the car on the highway in Chapala for hours (without one complaint even from the two year old) and Miguel working all day on our vehicle. Never a thought to turn us down or that we might have ruined their day. We needed help. They were there. I truly love the Mexican people.

That night we were sitting on the terrace enjoying a glass of wine and examining our day. Ray and I both agreed; we wouldn't have missed it for the world. I said I was so happy that our car had broken down. Otherwise we wouldn't have met these beautiful people and made them as new friends. And you wouldn't be reading this Blog.

Thank you Mexico, our adopted home. Stay tuned for the "rest of the story" after Christmas!

4 Comments:

 Lisa and Andy said...

I just wanted to thank you for the newsletter. I love to read it from cover to cover.

This morning - while Andy was making egg and cheese omelet- I was reading aloud your blog about your adventures with your car, Miguel and his family. We had to laugh out loud - I know it was not funny at the time- but we were delighted with your story and your good hearts.

10:56 AM   

 Lilian and George said...

Just checked out the Monte Coxala Spa and WOW! we are so looking forward to that! We'll have to start buying lottery tickets to win enough money to stay there some day...

Also, your blog site is wonderful! You do seem to have a lot of fun - it's always a matter of getting the right people together, and I would think that anyone joining your group would fall into that category - what do you think? Automatically adventurous and willing to try new things and participate... We really look forward to exploring the area under your expert guidance.

Yes, over the years I had always experienced Mexicans as warm and loving people, willing to give you the shirt of their backs if you treat them as equals, especially when you (try to) speak Spanish with them. So it doesn't surprise me how they helped you with your car problems. But oh - what problems you had!

10:58 AM   

 Vivian and Gordie said...

just read your "car adventure" on the net and it is priceless.

Who would have imagined a day like that. I get so tired reading and hearing about the crises in the world. Stories like this leave you feeling good about man kind and the knowledge that goodness will prevail.

11:05 AM   

 Jack Morine said...

I read your car trouble story and couldn't help but think what would have happened in boston in the same circumstances. While you were gone for parts someone would have stolen the wheels off your car.

Then the cops would have come along and told you to get your car the hell off the road.

It's wonderfull how the mexican people with so little are so willing to share with others.
The way you and Ray handled your troubles that day tells me something. You're becoming Mexicans.

"Las Tres Pelirrojas Peligrosas (The 3 dangerous red heads) discover Ajijic and Chapala and vow to return to the land of tequila and limes, sol y jacarandas, amistad y aventuras."

Comments courtesy of Patti Kilpatrick; picture courtesy of Katie Meyer.

I didn't think anything could beat a cold beer on a hot summer day. Hard to imagine a beer tasting better until I got to Mexico! I had my first Michelada in Guadalajara! It's pronounced (me-chel-LA-da), and translated, more or less, as ''my cold beer.'' Our friends, Peter and Elaine ordered me one. I took one sip, and was in seventh heaven. The dark Modelo Negra had hints of pepper and lime and spices along with a tomato-y, salty taste. It was yummy!

I found out a michelada usually consists of fresh lime juice, with Tabasco, Worcestershire and soy sauces thrown in, a pinch of black pepper and possibly a dash of Maggi, the seasoning usually used for soups and stews. A lot of places also use Clamato Juice or spicy tomato juice. This mix makes up two or three fingers' worth of a tall glass of ice. Then you add the beer, and rim the edge of the glass with salt.

For some reason, on this group in January, I was into a Michelada craze and tried one at several places, trying to find the best. I think I found it! I really enjoyed the michelada at El Adobe the best. El Adobe is in Tlaquepaque and is one of the restaurants we take our Focus on Mexico participants to. This particular version of the michelada didn't have salt around the rim. We think it might have been rimmed with Maggi, which gave it a wonderfully tangy taste, and possibly pepper or some mild chile. Ana's supposed to find out for me. I don't think El Adobe will give me the entire recipe, but maybe they'll tell me what it was rimmed with. It was very different and very tasty. I'll let you know.

And, I think I gained more converts to what is fast becoming my favorite refresher. Andy, Ana, Bill and Fernando have been won over to variations on the michelada. Ana and Bill seem to like theirs with Corona, Fernando enjoys his with O'Doul's and Andy added a shot of tequila to his!

Marcia asked for my phone number, so I gave her one of my cards. She was fascinated about Focus on Mexico, so I explained what we were doing, and she just thought it was wonderful that we were bringing groups to the Lake Chapala area. You could tell she loved Lakeside and thought everyone, Mexican and North American, should retire here! We had an absolutely wonderful conversation and I have a feeling we will be hearing from her again. That's our new amiga, Marcia, between Fernando and Bill. And, the other picture is of her wonderful family. The son who helped translate for us is at the far left.

I mean...could it get any better than that? After Ana drove us up to see Julie, we decided to check out the shoes. It was a perfect day. I bought two pairs of shoes; Ana bought one; Bill didn't buy any! Go figure!

You ladies will have to vote...should this be on our tour or not?

You've all heard the Beach Boys song, "Surfin USA", haven't you. Well, part of the lyrics go like this:

If everybody had an ocean
Across the U.S.A.
Then everybody'd be surfin'
Like Californi-a
You'd seem 'em wearing their baggies
Huarachi sandals too
A bushy bushy blonde hairdo
Surfin' U.S.A.

I don't know if Fernando's a surfer, but he's got the right shoes for it now. I think I even heard him haggle...it's expected, you know! Looking good, Fernando!

I have to admit, one of my favorite parts of going to Paz (the liquor store in San Antonio Tlayacapan) is the surprise some people have in the fact that you can buy Cuban cigars in Mexico.

Of course you can! There's no embargo in Mexico against Cuba. As a matter of fact, some of the expats with immigrado status here have even used their Mexican passports to travel to Cuba just to say they did it! And, some of my friends say Cuban cigars are more than a hobby. They're a lifestyle. Who am I to argue with that? And for you information junkies out there, Wikipedia says "the English word cigar is from the Spanish word cigarro, which in turn derives from the Mayan word for tobacco, siyar." I didn't know that, did you?

When Martin Schuster realized Paz sold Cuban cigars, he decided then and there he had to have one. It was fun watching him select just the right one as we all looked on. Paz has quite a selection, and as he opened the cases, I have to admit, they smelled wonderful! Am I really a closet smoker and don't know it?

He chose the perfect cigar, thick enough to feel macho in his fingers (my words, not his!) and I'm sure he enjoyed it to the last puff. He wisely chose not to smoke among the ladies! Way to go, Martin. I wish I could have joined you just for the experience

I can't believe I didn't get a better picture of her! Carol is a local singing star in the area and I read on one web site that "she is blessed with "Perfect Pitch," and after listening to her this night, I DO believe! She sings a variety of music, but being a fan of ballads, I loved her renditions of Anne Murray and Emmy Lou Harris, as well as many others...too numerous to mention. I think she even sang a Patti Page song, and beautifully, I might add, but having been blessed with a poor memory (never can remember if or why I'm mad at someone!), I just cannot remember all the music she sang. I just know I enjoyed the evening thoroughly. And, since many of our participants bought CDs and danced the night away, I am positive they enjoyed themselves also.

One thing I found out recently and that many people don't know about Carol is that she was not only California's Country Music female vocalist of the Year, for two years in a row, but that she was a lawyer and a family court Judge in San Diego. Can't wait to hear her again. So glad you're at Lakeside, Carol. Looking forward to another show soon! And this time, I'll be sure to take a better picture!

Then Jerry Patterson and John played a duet together and played a toe-tapping tune that really got the joint jumping!

Omar's house is a popular place with our participants. Before we got there, I told everyone that Pedro, Omar's bartender, makes the best margaritas I've ever had. I made believers out of all of them! It was, as always, a great afternoon.

John blew us away when he sat down and just whipped out this wonderful piece using the word Chapala and the colors of Mexico as his inspiration. As their web site says, John's "notational style of work draws from everything as varied as his experiences on the golf course to therapy notations." And now, we're quite delighted to say, he can add Lake Chapala, Mexico, to his repertoire. Can't wait until you join us here, John. I'm dying to see your art up close and personal.

By the way, we are still waiting for someone to tell us about the "Lets buy stock in Viagra" story.

Lane and Pam sent us a couple of pictures of their area and about one, Lane says "With the weather here in Colorado, who needs the tropics? It has been so nice here that I went snorkeling the other day as you can see form the picture." Of course this is not the original, we felt the "Speedo" Lane was wearing needed a bit of help, so we added the towel.

In fact, Focus On Mexico is not sure this is really Lane, anyone out there care to comment?

However, there is a bit of space, as you can see in the picture, where the palapa roof ends and the trees begin. It was hard to get a picture of the clouds...but the moon was full and the clouds had a faint outline around them. It was really beautiful. We were all talking about the sky when all of a sudden Fleming said, "That's the sky...the real sky...it's open? I thought it was a mural!"

And, then this dear man and his darling wife re-enacted the moment so I could take advantage of a Kodak moment. They're truly good sports, and we laughed about it through the rest of the dinner. We really enjoyed Fleming and Katt...they had a joy for life that was quite infectious. They were a lot of fun to be around.

By Karen Cottingham

Retirement looms in what used to be the distant future. But now, in my early 50s, it's something that does cross my mind at least once a day. So when I was approached to write an article about retiring in Mexico, I was intrigued. My children were more than intrigued --- they were downright excited about the thought of being able to vacation at the hacienda they envisioned me buying.

In November I travelled to Lake Chapala, beautiful lake district made up of several communities along the shore and nestled in a mountain valley about 50 minutes south of Guadalajara. The area is known to the locals as "Lakeside."

Lake Chapala is quickly becoming the retirement destination of choice for many North American baby boomers.

I enrolled in a program called "Focus on Mexico," a series of seminars and tours designed to teach you everything you need to know about retiring in Mexico. There were 16 attendees, made up of Canadians and Americans, all of whom came armed with a sense of adventure and a longing for a quieter, warmer, less-expensive place to "live the best of their lives."

So you understand, they’ve been through a lot together and weathered it all…until The Donald met Carol Bedford. It was a rollicking good time that I don’t think anyone in our group OR the restaurant will forget! I told Carol at the end of the evening that I think she made Don’s night. She looked at me, and shook her head, and said, "No, honey, he made my night!"

Carol even came up and performed a song with Don, which was a highlight of the evening. Don & Mildred bought Carol’s CD which she personally autographed, while sitting on his lap, of course! It was a great evening with the "luck of the Irish" going strong that night! We were glad to be there to witness it.

Bill, being smarter than I, stopped the little fellow at the knee. I can appreciate his caution.

We all convinced him that the embroidered shirts just weren’t him, but we all applauded at his final choice.

Well, after arriving for the March 3 program, it didn't take them long to discover that "perfect" person, and that would be Ana Kabande, our lovely Program Director.

Ana is beautiful inside and out, and after spending many days in her company, DeAlonna and Roger knew they would love to have her as a family member. So they made up a sign and gave it to Ana to hold on our last wonderful night at La Tasca. Jerry, where are you? Ana's waiting!!

First of all, did you know that Margarita is Spanish for 'daisy?' I didn't until I was surfing the Internet for interesting tidbits for this blog. Who knew...and why? That's another blog, I'm sure...where the Margarita got its name. That's not important now...we need to know how to make a great one! And, I also found out that the Margarita is Mexico's National drink. I don't know if that's true, but if someone out there does, let me know.

Believe it or not, Margaritas are fairly simple to make. They only have four ingredients, if you don't count ice and salt, but then what would they be without those items? The four are: Tequila, *Controy, lime juice and Jarabe (simple sugar syrup).

If you don't live in an area with a large Mexican community, you may not be able to get Jarabe. So if you want to make it, if you're a big Margarita drinker, or if you're having a party, you may want to make a liter which will last for several weeks.

Making the Simple Syrup. The formula is simple:
Two parts sugar to one part water.
Fill a pot with one cup of water.
Heat the water to boiling and add 2 cups sugar.
Stir and boil until all the sugar is dissolved.
Let it cool before you use it.
You might even want to make it the night before you want to use it. You only need to refrigerate it if it's going to be around for a while.

Mixing the Margarita. Have a plate with coarse salt handy and a piece of sliced lime. I like key limes...they're sweeter and more plentiful in Mexico. Moisten only the outside of the rim with the lime, then dip the rim into the plate of salt to get a nice coating. Fill the glass with ice cubes.
And, okay, I will admit it, I've become a Tequila snob since moving to Mexico. I will only use Tequila that says 100% Agave on the bottle: If it doesn't say 100% Agave, it means the Tequila is cut with grain alcohol...let's all say 'yuck' together now! Makes my brain cells hurt!

Here's the straight scoop on Tequila. Most distilleries produce several versions of the four main styles: white or silver, which is colorless and straight from the still; gold, which is colored with caramel but not aged; reposado, or 'rested' in oak barrels for two to 12 months; and anejo, which is aged for more than a year. Don't use reposado or anejo for Margaritas. People think the more expensive the Tequila, the better the Margarita ...'taint so! You don't need the 'oakiness,' which can be too harsh for what is basically a fruity drink.

Here are the proportions to make one drink or 20.

Measurements
1 part Tequila
1 part Jarabe (sugar water)
1 part Controy (or Cointreau)*
1 part lime juice

Shake the four ingredients and pour into your salted glass over ice. And enjoy! Pedro usually makes a lot for our groups, has all the glasses lined up when we get there and starts pouring immediately. And, contrary to what has been said, itis simply not true that I've been seen pushing members of the group out of the way to get to the Margaritas...that would just be wrong!

*Controy note: We use Controy in Mexico because it is made here and very reasonably priced. It may not be possible to find it in the U.S. or Canada. You can use Triple Sec or Cointreau if you need to, but they are significantly more expensive.

And one last note, since limes vary in sweetness/sourness, don't be afraid to add more sugar syrup if the drink is too sour.

Salud!

And, lo & behold, DeAlonna is originally from Dallas, and these ladies were from Ft. Worth. It is definitely a small world. Finally, most of the women in our group could stand it no longer. We had the five sisters, you know...with no male encumbrances, they were anxious to do a little booty-twisting themselves!

Soon we were all on the floor. I hurriedly finished my photo-snapping duties and joined them for a circle dance to beat all circle dances. And, I have to admit, even though I tried to imitate her, Ana gets the award for shakin' her booty the best! No one even came close, I think. And, of course, wearing the hat DeAlonna gave her, there were quite a few glances cast her way. Where are you, Jerry Wright???

The last night of our group, Bill noticed the statue was for sale. Wow! We discussed it as we danced...and finally
decided we should ask Ana if she would negotiate for us...see she even takes care of us! Also, knowing Ana, we figured if anybody could get a good price, it would be her. When she came back, she quoted a price, which was a tad pricey, but a bargain nonetheless, and then she said, "If you take it tonight, the price will be less!" We jumped at it, sealed the deal and brought him home.

We believe it to be a Mayan warrior in ceremonial dress, but if anyone out there knows differently, please post a comment and enlighten us. We think he's beautiful and, as you can see, proudly guards the gateway to our house.

George in Florida remembered the missing lady while he was reading the article "All By Myself", by Marlene Robertson. The newsletter team answered his email as quickly as possible which resulted in the following dialog:

George: "As opposed to seeking an elderly American nurse with a purse, I would be inclined to look for a young Mexican woman. Has anyone found one?"

Focus: "We weren't aware that one was lost…can you describe her? If so, we will look high and low for her for you."

George: "Petite, dark, beautiful, mysterious, named Maria, have you seen her?"

Focus: "The only problem is that it describes a lot of the women here in México. Can you give us a bit more information? What color is her hair, does she have any tattoos, etc.?"

"We are organizing a search party as we are writing this and will keep you informed; it might be better if you came down on one of the programs and gave us a hand. :o)))"

Has anyone seen this lady? Please comment and help us (and George) in our search. Or better yet, come on a Focus Program and join the search team.

The March 20-29, 2007 Focus Program group left a few days ago, but provided us with some unique experiences. Seems like our groups continue to surprise us with their talents. On this group, we had George Marton who plays the Piano, his wife Lilian Marton who is an author and clown in her spare time. We also had Margaret VanEvery who plays Violin. In addition to that Erison Taylor provided us with a few songs and is an accomplished artiest.

The equinox is very special in Mayan history. The Mayans planned their lives around the sun; their daily lives centered on the sowing and harvesting of their crops, especially corn. At the spring equinox they planted the crops, and the fall equinox was their signal to begin the harvest.

It was a glorious night…not too cool; not too warm. Almost everyone was dressed in white…we had contacted our participants beforehand to make sure they brought some white (or cream-colored) clothing with them.

Brilliance
By Erison Taylor

Vibrant bird song: morning and evenings of intense chattering, chirping, and cooing as if each winged creature must fill this day's light with its music.

Wild flowers: riotous bougainvillea in cherry red, tangerine, sweet lemon, and grapefruit pink conquers stone walls and iron fences; bold red and white flags of geraniums and lilies parade along the garden walls; primavera yellow and papaya orange lantana guard the gate posts; the periwinkle jacaranda battles for attention with cerise-white mimosa trees not only amid the glorious hours of sunshine, but also by night, like spies their scents waft through the screens and catch you by surprise.

Street lives: a cloudless cerulean sky vies for attention with terra cotta, coral, fuchsia, and cobalt blue walls; the markets are saturated with beads and silver, carvings in stone and wood, fabrics with intricate embroidery, porcelain and carpets, and fresh foods of every kind available; mariachi bands whose loud bravura and staccato notes contrast with the soft, lyrical rhythm
of the vendor's voice.

The Lake: a giant silver iguana lazily glinting in the relentless sunshine or winking with a myriad of stars beckons you to look below the surface, into the stillness, and find the heart of Mexico.

Extreme Sensations: lime and chili bouncing on your palate along with iron-red chipotle, ribbon rolled candy called "dulces tipico de Chapala," molten molcajete, intense coffee, more shrill sweets in the bakery; we eat the flesh and flower of the cactus, we drink hibiscus-flavored water, and we nibble on jalapeno peanuts.

And yet, all this is not the end of Brilliance, nor even only the beginning, for each one who comes enters under the spell, the assault on the senses, and each one discovers amidst the grand, gleaming, and noisy terrain of this sub-tropical heaven the subtle emanation of another sense.

The sense that all is well in its rightly disordered, "mismanaged," and confusing entirety. In the brilliant roiling activity of life is the continuum, the heartbeat that leads each of us to our own place of peace.

We respond to the gentleness of the Mexican soul: passionate people whose hearts are brilliant and burst with love and acceptance, our own world-weariness begins to fade and we long to join the dance of life along the shore of Lake Chapala.

2 Comments:
 Marie Dwyer-Bullock said...
Erison you have captured the essence of Mexico, the beauty of its people and culture and the life we live here that we have never quite been able to describe. You have looked within, and seen. Well done!

1:10 PM  
 sarah hughes said...
well done well versed well said,the descriptions the colours the mexican people,who are all heart. I can even let my senses guide me and smell it.you have went above and beyond erison,now my longing to go back has erupted.
congratulations on your narration.
yours sincerely sarah hughes

9:45 AM  

We picked her up on March 22, and she's been getting to know the rest of her family since then. Just to give you her background: She's a Xoloitzcuintle...a Mexican Hairless Dog (pronounced show-low-EETS-queent-lee)...usually shortened to Xolo...leave it to us to get an unpronounceable dog! They are very unusual-looking dogs, but Bill and I fell in love with them when we first saw them at the Spa. And, I have to share with you what happened when we went to pick out the one we wanted. As an intro to the story, here's one description of the breed:

"Many swear they have learned more from their Xolo than any other breed, because they are so intelligent and in tune with their family, they seem to know when you are not feeling well, and stay with you, comforting you when alone or depressed."

Well, Ana called Lola at Monte Coxala to make sure we were in line to get one of the dogs, and Lola said we could come out any time and pick out the one we wanted. So we immediately went. As we drove up to the spa, the Mother Xolo was out looking at our car drive up and dancing back and forth. We thought maybe she was 'expecting' someone and was going to be mighty disappointed when we got out of the car. She wasn't...she was so excited to see us. We've been up to Monte Coxala many times with the groups and not once has this dog paid any attention to us at all. In fact, she growled at Bill once when he tried to pet her. This time, she danced all around us and jumped up on Bill as if she were so excited that we'd finally shown up. Then she led us to her pups...I knew where they were since I had taken the original picture. Lola walked out then to go in with us. No matter how Mama was acting, I wasn't about to traipse in on her pups unattended. That seemed to be asking for trouble.

Mama had given birth to seven puppies...but only four survived...2 boys and 2 girls. I, of course, wanted a girl. And, the one that Bill had picked out from his first look at the picture not only was still alive, but was a female! Meant to be!

Our little one was buried under the other female, but we told Lola not to worry about showing us the female...that was the one we wanted, and we were happy just to know she was doing well. Well, at that moment, Mama got in the bed, and pushed the other female off 'ours' so we could see her better. She then preceded to groom our pup and push her toward her nipples. Once the little one was suckling, Mama looked up at us as if to say, "see; I'm taking good care of her for you!" It was so funny!

We were going to name her Izel (EE-zel) because it means "Unique, One of a kind" in Aztec...that's how old her breed is and the name Xoloitzcuintle is an Aztec name. However, our friend Ana Kabande (FOM program director) kept asking us why we wanted such an ugly dog..."she is muy feo!" So I finally told Ana that if she didn't stop calling our dog ugly, we were going to name her Ana!!! She looked at me and said, "Ana is muy bonita!" (very beautiful) ? We thought that was the end of it until we told Ana about the name Izel...she said, "I want her name to be Ana!" Then Peter (Vita agent as well as connected to Monte Coxala) said we should have something about Coxala (COKE-sah-lah) in her name...it was only fair. So now her official name is Ana-Izela McConnauWAY-Kabande de Coxala!!! Is that too funny or what? Name's bigger than the dog. A unique name for a unique dog!

Ana-Izela has been with us for less than a month, but seems to be connecting with our other dogs, Tillie (5-year-old white terrier), Maggie (3-year-old gray poodle) and Lucky (alpha dog, 16-year-old miniature dachshund!). It hasn't always been perfect, but, being a puppy, Ana doesn't take 'no' for an answer very often, whether it's chasing Maggie around the yard, wrestling with Tillie or sleeping on top of Lucky. They seemed to have worked out the pecking order somewhat. This is good, because Ana's probably going to weigh more than the other three combined. I think she thinks she's a lap dog right now, but, hopefully, she'll get over that.

You're invited to the The Lakeside Spay and Neuter A.C.'s annual Doggy Fashion Show.

Well, it's not Paris or even New York, but it was a very chic event indeed, with all in attendance loving their furry friends, wanting them to wear nice clothing and meet the right sort of other little dogs.

The Doggy Fashion Show put on annually by Lakeside Spay and Neuter is an informal but fun event/dinner where mutts or bluebloods "strut their stuff' attired in costumes to reflect their owner's creativity, imagination and/or sense of humor! Costumes for human attendees were optional, but since it was after all April Fool's Day, the human contingent made the most of the occasion too...most capitalizing on a "theme" that complemented or contrasted with "Fido's" fashion statement!

There were the stylish, the bucolic and the Hell's Angel entries all vying for attention on the runway. The dogs and their masters displayed winning moves and everyone in attendance had a great time. The owners and their dogs were all pretty good sports, showing up to "show off" their support for a very worthy cause.

The winner was Vivien Michel and her dog, Daisy Mae McCoy... dressed in oh-so-chic faux leopard-skin with what can only be described as a Lauren Bacall veil...I was SO born in the wrong era. I long for the 40s with those plush muff/handbags and the flirty veils!! Daisy Mae definitely sounds like the name of a Raymond Chandler heroine! Maybe next year it could Film Noir-style Doggy Fashion Show. "Dust off your old fedora, grab your trench coat, break out your Bogey, and call out your Bacall." Okay, I'm getting carried away now...it was just a whole lot of fun, and a great evening was had by all with barbeque, lettuce wraps appetizers, dancing and an auction thrown in for good measure.

And, may I say one word for the seemingly most under-appreciated person there? Before the dinner, a singer by the name of Jack Fallon entertained us with soft ballads. He was delightful, but got very little applause because people were arriving, greeting, schmoozing and taking care of their doggies...we just didn't have two hands among us to clap! He was very entertaining and the perfect note to arrive on and start the evening. So...Jack, we apologize...consider this our online version of two hands clapping!

And, last but not least (to us, anyway!), Ana-Izela McConnaWAY-Kabande de Coxala made her public debut at this event, and, as you can see from the picture, became weary of the whole thing ...so much attention; so little puppy breath! Finally, overcome with ennui, she took her afternoon siesta in her chauffeur's lap!

You know, this Pet Chic fashion show has me thinking about reincarnation. In my next life, I want to be a Yorkie Poo, live at Lakeside, and ride around in a BMW with a rich lady. Chase cars? Chase cats? Chase mailmen? Are you insane? I have to get ready for next year's event. "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!"

And, if any of you out-of-towners feel like contributing to a worthy cause, here is the address and information. You'll feel great if you do it!

Checks should be made payable to: Lakeside Spay & Neuter Center , A.C.

Please write on the "memo" line on the face of the check: For deposit to account #23710683

Mail check to:
USAA Federal Savings Bank 10750
McDermott Fwy
San Antonio, TX 78288

When the performers noticed she was singing, they invited her to join them and sing along. After much encourgement, she went to the stage and performed a couple of songs to the delight of all. She was wonderful, and we can't wait until she comes down here and does it again!!

Personally, I still remember the big smiles Kate Black and Barry Pajak had when they walked toward us at the airport. It made me realize why I always remember the Spanish word for smile: sonrisa. I always think of it as meaning "sun rises" and that's the way Barry and Kate struck me...seeing their smiles, I felt as if the sun was indeed rising.

Then, of course, it was the fact that the ladies flirted with ALL the waiters and the speakers and the Vita agents, including Omar! The only reason I didn't get more pictures of them laughing is because I was laughing a lot myself. Also, the reason some of them are blurry (the photographs that is, not the people!!) is because I was laughing myself, or I just wasn't fast enough to capture the perfect image. I decided to include them because they still made me smile...ah-h-h-h...the memories! And, the double entrendes and jokes we can't include here! They will have to remain always in our memories unless I want this blog shut down by the Blog Police! All I'll say is that one of them had to do with underwear!

The whole staff finally decided we needed to commemorate this group. We established the Full of Mirth Club...and, since, as we stated on the certificate, "Laughter is as good as jogging for our heart, lungs, and brain," we thanked them for "adding to our lives this week." And, because they were the ones responsible for our even starting the club, we made them Charter Members. We love you guys! We miss you guys! Come back soon. I believe we have made a pact for them to come back on New Year's...please don't forget us!

Blog by Marianna Carpenter. Participant April 14, 2007

This trip did not start out auspiciously---first of all, my husband couldn't come, so I was sure this would not be fun. On the plane, the flight attendant spilled a can of cranapple juice all over me, and while running to catch my connection, I managed to get a quarter-sized blister on my heel that broke. Oh joy...this trip was going to be a lot of fun! I can't get my foot in a shoe (I did bring four pair---yes, I am a shoe person!), and our first day is an all-day Guadalajara walking tour---don't these people know better?...high altitude, travel day, health problems, etc. I already hate this trip.

That was my Saturday evening thought while I was getting ready for dinner. By the end of dinner, I had laughed so much, my sides hurt, and I had 21 new friends! Never in my life have I made friends this quickly and for sure not a bunch at once---must be the "space portal!"

We all spent our free time, what little there was, together in the bar terrace every day. There was so much laughter and fun that no one wanted it to end. I can see spending the rest of my life with these people with no regrets! Seventeen people from all over the U.S. and Canada with nothing in common except a desire for a new life.

Problems---no sir!---Karen galloped in on her white horse with lots of bandages and solved the heel problem---muchas gracias! Rick walking with his cane solved the "I'm always going to be last, because I can't walk well" problem! And, Bill Hayworth, Kate and Barry solved the "I'm all alone" problem. Never in my life have I felt such a closeness to people that I just met. All of them, including the staff, are awesome people.

I cannot imagine this type of thing happening to someone more than once in a lifetime, and I will cherish it forever. And, by the way, we managed to learn a lot too!

Moral of the story: great things happen when you eat, laugh and learn with friends, new or old!

FOM's note: We loved you too, Marianna...you didn't even get mad it me for "making" you wear one of my hats in Guadalajara! You're a real trooper! Remember, you're coming back for New Year's Eve!

Getting off the plane, my first thought was "oh no, this really is another country!" I was starting to concern myself with what could go wrong and so forth...then we saw Ana and Manuel. The Focus sign was easy to spot and Ana greeted us with a warm smile and a big hug. I was able to start practicing what little Spanish I knew. Manuel was patient and amiable, even though it was probably difficult to understand my meaning.

Our first day was just great! The hotel is like a resort...well, I guess it is a resort, in fact! Our room has the best view of the extremely well-manicured grounds (and our room didn't even face the lake!), which made for such a relaxing, tranquil morning to rise to each day. We loved hearing the birds sing (what felt like) our own private symphony at the start of each day.

The first speaker (Dr. Carlos Garcia) was a very informative man. He not only told us in words, but showed us in slides about what it takes to get into Mexico's health system. He was also able to tell us first-hand about what to expect when (God forbid) something happens. After all, he works at the clinic in Lakeside every day!

I was also very impressed with Julie! She had all the answers to every question about immigration, plus she made time to meet with us (and anyone else) about questions specific to our own individual situation. Things like fees, getting our car here, our pets, as well as the things we want to bring down with us in our new life here.

Through it all, of course, the best answers to all general questions came from Marie, Ray, Karen and Bill! Being that they live here, they knew everything from where to buy the best tequila to how much is enough to tip the street musicians. I never felt on my own, but I also never felt smothered! How did they do it?!?

I can't say enough about Ana! She would have been fabulous if she just watched out for us and maybe two other people!! But watching over 15 people the way she did was nothing short of amazing!! We had some special needs people on our tour and even though she attended to their needs in a very personal way, none of the rest of us were neglected or short-changed in the slightest. She is worth double her weight in gold!

Driving in Jalisco would intimidate even the most confident driver (I drive for a living and I am not looking forward to it!!). Manuel drove a full-sized bus around those hair-pin turns, down streets filled with cars, all in the way, so proficiently, we all burst into spontaneous applause many times. He was also so friendly and thoughtful!! He knew all of our names by the second day, and I know this because he always greeted each of us by name every morning, and said "Buenos Noches" as he helped each of us off the bus every night.

The only complaint I have would be the ten extra pounds I am taking back to the states with me!! Who knew the food in Mexico would be so irresistible! I have always heard of French cuisine and Italian chefs, but the restaurants we went to must be among the best I have been to in my entire life!

Thank you so much for this wonderful, wonderful experience!! We have surely made life-long friends in these ten short days and will never forget our fabulous introduction to this beautiful country!!

Muchas gracias siempre!!

No, thank you! You've made our day, Mike and Mimi. 

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.

But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as "Sinko de Mayo".

Kate Black was one of our April 14 thru 20, 2007 Focus Program Group participants and is the recipient of the first ever "Full Of Mirth" award and was the laugh leader for the group.

In May the entire Focus on Mexico staff (except Manuel) spent some time in Melaque at the beach. Ray and Marie drove their RV to Melaque (a 4-hour drive on the cuota) and set up shop on the public beach which is right on the ocean. You can't beat the price at $50 pesos per night. They spent the week of April 21 there. They then left the RV there for Bill, Ana and me to use the following week.

When Marie offered this opportunity to us, I said, "You know, Marie, my idea of roughing it is Motel 8!" She quickly assured me that it was a very nice RV, and she thought we would have a good time. So Bill and I, even though we have NEVER gone camping in a tent OR an RV immediately accepted the offer. You couldn't beat the price, and they were driving it down and coming back to pick it up, and we were adventurous...after all, we moved to Mexico, didn't we? So what if we hadn't RVed before...what could possibly go wrong? Uh-h-h-h...from my mouth to God's ears.

When we walked in, she was negotiating with a young man who had traveled from Taxco (Mexico's Silver City) to market his silver jewelry at Lakeside. She was buying a few of his pieces for the shop. When she saw the Focus on Mexico group, she immediately offered us access to her vendor at HIS prices! She saw this as a way to help him (since he had traveled so far) and for us to get some great deals...a win-win situation for all of us...even Diane, because she had a big grin on her face as the buying and selling ensued! We got some beautiful jewelry at outstanding prices, and everyone was thrilled with the nice presents they were going to be able to take home for 'souvenirs.'

Thank you, Diane...you're a lovely person with a very generous heart! We'll definitely be back!

And, to tell the truth, it actually worked out better for us. Marie and I had decided we wanted to go in together and get her some hearts that she had seen at Marie and Ray's house. She liked them very much, but we had trouble getting up to Tlaquepaque to get them. Therefore, since we were taking the group to Guadalajara on Sunday, July 15, we decided to get them at that time. Knowing that it was going to be difficult hiding such big items on the bus, I told Ana that Marie wanted me to pick up some more hearts for her. The tree they were hanging in was so big, the three hearts she had there were lost! Well, that was the plan anyway.

Marie told me how to find the store in Tlaquepaque (right across from Sergio Bustamante), and since I had my 'story' all set, I told Ana about needing to buy them while we were there. She even pointed out the store to me before we went to eat at El Adobe.

After eating, I went to the store, and lo and behold, there were the hearts that I needed sitting on the counter. I said to Bill, 'these are what I'm supposed to be getting." The owner overheard me and said, 'yes, we have been waiting for you." I said, "Excuse me?" She said she had been told I would be coming to pick up the hearts. I then said, "oh...Marie called and ordered them in advance?" She said, 'yes, Marie called!" I thought that was pretty cool and it made my job a whole lot easier! I silently thanked Marie for her foresight!

I paid for the hearts, and we got them on the bus...everything was fine and dandy...a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I got home and called Marie and thanked her for ordering the hearts for me. There was dead silence on the other end of the line...she had no idea what I was talking about, which perplexed us and then got us both tickled thinking about the poor person who came to the store expecting to pick up her hearts! Oh well...

We had such an exciting time setting the surprise party up...when I think I used to handle big conventions and events,, I didn't know why I was getting so stressed about making sure things went smoothly for Ana's birthday. We ordered a cake from La Tasca, and Ray was going to ask Roberto Cerda to sing the Happy Birthday song to Ana that night....

We can't remember who gave Steve Abramowitz his nickname while he was in town for the July group. It was either Floyd Barnhill or Ana. However, one of them called him "Jack Nicholson," and the name stuck. He seemed to have his dark glasses on a lot, or I just captured that moment in most of the pictures.

Well, it must be true, because on his last day when Ana was bringing Steve back from Chapala (after getting his FM3 photo taken), a Mexican wedding party had taken over the Real de Chapala hotel. When Steve got out of the car, the group in the lobby took one look at him and rushed over to Steve, wanting "Jack's" autograph! Steve, of course, having the time of his life, obliged!!

We'll let you decide for yourself. You compare Steve to the original product on this page! Have fun.

It seems that Michael and Karen had dated for a short time some thirty years ago and then lost touch and moved to opposite sides of the USA. Michael, however, never really forgot Karen and after a few stumbles along the way (and a speed bump or two!), decided that he had to find Karen. So, as any modern man would do, he hired a private detective to track her down. Within a very short time, the detective called Michael with an address and phone number.

You would think that with this information and the thoughts in his heart, he would call right away. No so, Michael waited, waited and waited, building up his courage. Finally he made the first call hoping that Karen might remember him. Hallelujah! Karen not only remembered him, but continued to hold very special thoughts of their time together. During their first conversation, they talked as if they had not been apart during those thirty years.

You might think that with this sucessful call, one of them would bring up the subject about meeting in person. Think again, it was almost another three years before they were to meet. Michael would call each year on Karen's birthday to wish her a happy birthday. Karen was begining to wonder if he was ever going to suggest they meet. Finally after three years, Michael decided that he had built up his courage enough to ask Karen if it was okay for him to come out for a visit. Karen, of course, was waiting for him to say something and said "yes" without any reservations and the rest, as they say, is history. And, after our meeting them for the first time in July, we agree. They just seem to be perfect for one another, and they were a delight to be around. We think it's the most romantic story we've heard in a long time, even if Michael started out looking like a stalker! The heart knows what the heart knows! Way to go, Karen & Michael!

Born in Guadalajara in 1948, Alejandro studied Architecture from 1967 to 1971 and Music and Tourism from 1971-1973, but is a self-taught artist---painter and sculptor. He has gained international acclaim as one of a talented generation of visionaries. When one thinks of Mexican artists of the 20th century, Alejandro Colunga is always on that list. He has also been the inspiration of many young artists of the last century. Colunga is best known for the wonderful chairs "La Rotondo del Mar," which he created in 1997 for Vallarta's boardwalk "malecon" (pier).

However, when we go to the Instituto Cultural Cabanas, a Guadalajara landmark and major cultural center, to view the Orozco murals, we get to pass between these two "magical" groups of anthropomorphic bronze sculpture-chairs that are some of Colunga's most delightful creations. These whimsical "people-objects" come in all shapes and sizes, with grinning heads, pipes sticking out of jacket pockets and feet, big and small, some bare and other shod in sneakers, lace-ups and boots Some of the shoes even morph into snakes and lizards!

We're often asked what it's all about. It's hard for some of us to realize art is for art's sake...where an artist relies on individual imagination and originality ...nothing more! However, I finally took the opportunity to do a little research and found out that each object represents a magician (Mago) transforming himself into a sofa or chair. And the best part about it is that there are no rules about not sitting on these remarkable creations! In fact, it's more of a 'please sit on los objetos de arte!" Personally, I think you have to sit on some of them to experience their odd effect on your senses. Colunga likes his art to be touched, "I love it when people are drawn to one of my works and want to touch it or sit on it, since touch is the most intimate and universal sense we have."

I think it's unfortunate that with bronze sculptures, people are generally asked not to touch, because grease or dirt from their hands can affect the patina. Thank goodness Alejandro Colunga thinks that touching the surface can improve the look of a bronze sculpture, since people "tend to touch the high points, and you end up with a more three-dimensional look." Also, from what I understand, the frequent touching, caressing and sitting on these whimsical pieces of furniture produces a kind of regular maintenance in itself, which gives them a highly attractive and translucent look.

Furthermore, because the proportions of each piece are so unusual, a person may feel tall or short, fat or thin when sitting on them. No matter what their level of artistic sophistication, everyone seems to love the sculptures as they point, laugh, touch and finally sit on these unusual works of art. It's hard not to smile when you're in these delightful "rooms."

If you've seen these wonderful pieces in person, let us know what you think. If you haven't, you're in for a treat!

Cascarones are empty eggshells that have been gently cracked and emptied, then carefully washed and dried. Then, as this young lady is doing, each egg is individually filled with confetti. Before she's through with her little treasure, she will reseal them with tissue paper. After that they will be painted with bright colors or decorated with scraps of tissue paper glued into place all over the shell. I have no doubt that some of these fragile items get broken before they ever become hair fare!

And, realizing how much effort it takes to make just one, I am equally amazed that as this young girl sits making hers, she knows each one is made to be broken, and all of these pretty party favors will be destroyed in just a few moments of joy and fun, which, having participated in a good ol' cascarone bashing, is definitely true...it's a whole lot of fun...a chance to act like a kid again. I do love Mexico!
Empress Carlotta is credited with bringing the custom to Mexico when she and her husband, Emperor Maximillian, came to rule Mexico for France from 1864-1867. The eggshells she adored had been filled with perfumed talcum powder since the Renaissance in Italy, later becoming popular in Spain.

Supposedly, an eggshell broken on your head, releasing a shower of confetti is considered to be good luck in Mexico, and also a sign that you have good friends. In fact, on Sunday evenings in the plazas of Mexico, the girls with the most confetti in their hair are judged to be the most popular. This tradition has been going on for several centuries in Mexico. For instance, on weekend evenings and during town fiestas, the young people of Ixtlahuacan (where Bill and I live) still gather on the plaza for the paseo, where the boys walk clockwise around the bandstand and the girls stroll in the opposite direction. Timid boys find it easier to attract a girl's attention by cracking a cascaron on her head than actually saying he likes her. Ah-h-h...youth!

And, many large parties and wedding receptions evolve into a war of cascarones with shells and confetti flying everywhere. Bill and I helped celebrate the 78th birthday of our friend Jenny. We didn't quite understand the excitement when the eggs were being distributed. But when the bags were torn open, all of the adults became a mob of 10-year-old kids, running around bashing people on the head and laughing wildly...it was some of the most fun I've ever had and I think I should take them back to Kansas City when I go for the next party! Outdoor party, of course!

When we go to Omar's for lunch on Thursdays, his dogs are always a big hit. The little yorkie, Sheriff, generally rules the roost. He even bosses their big dog around. Well, there's a new 'sheriff' in town. Omar and Mela have a new Jack Russell terrier puppy named Java, who has just enough 'caffeine' to get the group going! The ladies just couldn't keep their hands off him, and he seemed to enjoy the attention. Sheriff the yorkie has gotten a little snooty lately and didn't want all the attention anymore. Omar declared, "he's turned into a teenager!" Well, he probably got his nose a little out of joint with the September group, because he was mostly ignored while Java got all the attention. Take that, little guy...maybe the next time you'll condescend to give us a lick or two for old time's sake!

But let's tell you how this came about...On Ray's Tequila Run where we learn about the different and best kinds of tequila, Marie suddenly rushed down the aisle and announced, "They're selling Herencia de Plata Tequila Reposado, two for one!" Well, we didn't hesitate. Heck, none of us, Bill and I included, have ever had this brand, but Marie was quite convincing, so a goodly amount of us grabbed a couple of bottles to try. (Hey...it's worth a shot!!)

If you read the newsletter article about the Tequila Express, you know I'm quite fond of tequila (Everybody has to believe in something...I believe I'll have another tequila!!), so taste-testing a new one is great. Therefore, you can understand when I say tasting a FREE one bought by a friend out at Monte Coxala while enjoying the view overlooking the lake and Mount Garcia is absolutely fantastic! (Got Lime?). We found that George had planned ahead too...he knew he was going to share his tequila with us, so he bought cups...small cups...but at least we had cups and all of us didn't have to swig from the bottle...not that we wouldn't have, mind you...or maybe I should say, not that I wouldn't have!! :-D (Take life with a grain of salt, a lime and a shot of tequila!).

Well, George, all I can say is, you're wonderful and "You had me at Tequila!" It was a day 'blended to perfection!"

By the way, just in case you're wondering, it is an excellent tequila. Thank you, Marie! Bill and I actually went back and bought two more for Christmas gifts...hope they make it 'til then!

Okay, I'll stop now, but I just want to raise my glass and say, "Salud, George! Muchas gracias!"

However, there's also another meaning of Mordida that's a lot more fun and a lot tougher to get out of!

At birthday celebrations, once assembled guests finish singing the lovely words of the traditional song, "Las Mananitas" and the candles have been extinguished, the guests begin chanting "Mordida, Mordida, Mordida!" (Little bite, little bite, little bite!)

For NOBs (north of the border), unused to Mexican tradition, it's the unexpected "face in the cake" moment. The guest of honor is obliged to take the first bite of cake without using utensils or their hands---just leaning down to take a bite out of the cake. Then, usually, strategically positioned behind the honoree is someone else ready to slam their face into the cake when they lean down. It also usually means that is how big of a piece of cake you get to eat too...that part seems obvious to me! No, thank you...no face cake for me please!

At this point the guest of honor, child or adult, has a choice. He or she can either lean forward to take a bite of the cake or wait for someone in the crowd to help by shoving his or her face into the cake. The most popular party photo of all is that of is of a smiling child, his or her mouth and nose covered in icing.

Okay, I admit it, I like this cup. I want this cup! I saw it at one of the houses on our Behind-the-Walls tour with the January Focus On Mexico program and decided I had to have it!

So...any of you out there reading this, if you see a cup like this anywhere in the States (or Canada), and you're coming down to Lakeside soon, buy me a set of at least four (can you carry six????), and I will reimburse you when you get here. Shameless, aren't I? I can't help myself. I just love the color and the subject...it's dogs! I want to spend the rest of my life looking at this cup as I drink coffee in the morning. It makes me happy!

I know someone out there knows where I can get this cup, and you will help me. I am sending positive vibes your way! :-D

First they went to the neighbor on the east...no way to climb over that wall. Then they went to the house on the west...no way through the backyard. Their only solution...up and over! So while the rest of were at the front door, Sara boosted Centeya up the westside wall, and when she got to the top, it was fully roofed in, so there was no way to sneak in and see the inside! Hey, it's only $130,000, in Riberas, and it's obviously burglar-proof...call for a viewing today! :-0))))))))) We'll try to get the key!!

That's when Centeya realized there was only one way off that roof, and that was straight down. "Gosh, how come it didn't look that high up when I was climbing?!"

"Okay, Sara, here I come...catch me!!" Yikes...Super Lou immediately assesses the situation and flies across the ground on fleeted foot! He grabs Centeya, being instantly aware of "Where the heck am I'm going to grab her?", and saved both she and Sara from more than likely landing in a pile on the ground! It was an amazing rescue, and we were there to record the whole thing for you!

Aren't you glad?

Lo and behold, when she went to the school recently to pay the subscription for the next month, some very kind person, who wishes to remain anonymous (fairy godmother!), has not only paid for the entire 2008 schooling for both boys, but had also thrown in the enrollment for the 2009 school year too! She is overwhelmed with gratitude at the kindness of someone she cannot thank. "I want to say God Bless You to my friend. You make us very happy and you make my life much easier," she says. Ana also added that she is so grateful now that her sons will receive the good education they need to succeed.

The whole Focus team wishes to add their thanks to this most generous benefactor. I got tears in my eyes when I heard it. It was so overwhelming to think that someone has given the gift of education to two wonderful young men (who, I might add, turned 12 today, February 1!).

You are a kind and giving soul!

Growing up, I always appreciated the fact that my birthday was in February. Christmas was over and January can be such a gloomy month in Kansas City, that having my birthday to look forward to (and during the school year when I was with my friends!) was such a treat. And, as my friends and family know, my mother made my birthday a national holiday, and even though I am now considered a senior citizen (just having celebrated the 37th anniversary of my 25th birthday!), I still turn into a 12-year-old when my birthday rolls around.

Well, February must be a great month for birthdays, because we celebrated five of them in a week during out last program.

Ana's twins Emilo and Fernando turned 12 on February 1; one of our participants, Diana Romell had a birthday on February 4; Marie's birthday is a national holiday in Mexico (February 5 is Constitution Day!), and my birthday was on February 8. We had a wealth of parties and cakes to celebrate the occasions.

Ana is merciless when it comes to the mordida hough...every time she does it to a participant, we say, "Ana, no tip!" But it doesn't stop her! For a more complete explanation about the mordida, see the blog Mayhem in Mexico

And, I have to say, I believe my celebration on the last day of the program at Casa Bullock was one of my Top Ten birthday celebrations. It had cascarones, a pinata, two cakes and lots of photographs. I couldn't stop laughing. And, again, if you don't know about cascarones, you're missing out on a treat. Here's a blog you might want to read--- Cascarones for Luck! 

I hope you enjoy this journal of all the birthday fun in February, and for those who are also celebrating a birthday this month, Feliz Cumpleaños!!

For NOBs (north of the border), unused to Mexican tradition, it's the unexpected "face in the cake" moment. The guest of honor is obliged to take the first bite of cake without using utensils or their hands---just leaning down to take a bite out of the cake. Then, usually, strategically positioned behind the honoree is someone else ready to slam their face into the cake when they lean down. It also usually means that is how big of a piece of cake you get to eat. For a more complete explanation about the mordida, click here to read the blog "Mayhem in Mexico".

Ana is merciless when it comes to the mordida...every time she does it to a participant, we say, "Ana, no tip!" But it doesn't stop her! On the February 23 program, one of our favorite alumnis, Terri Hensley, happened to select Manix restaurant for her birthday celebration. Unlucky her! That happened to be the night (Tuesday, February 26) that the Focus on Mexico group was there! Wouldn't you know it, Ana struck again. After helping Terri to make her wish and blow out her candle, Ana very gently (yeah, right!) helped her take her first bite! Remember Ana...trust broken is very rarely regained! Thank goodness Terri has a GREAT sense of humor and took it all in good fun. Everyone enjoyed it, and of course, we have the pictures to prove it. We hope she enjoyed her cake...we're equally sure no one else wanted to share it! Happy Birthday, Terri...thanks for 'letting' us join in the celebration!

Three of our participants on the March 8 program came in early and were able to attend their very first charity event at Lakeside….the Cruz Roja Fashion Show!

We talked Wayne Murray, Greg Brick and John Tjia into coming to a fashion show with a persuasive argument in an email before they arrived: “It’s possible that you’re sitting there thinking…”And, why would I want to go to a fashion show?” Well, my only answer is because there are a lot of pretty women modeling, and you’ll get to meet the Focus Staff and some Focus alumni!” Wayne wrote back and said I was very persuasive:

Hi Karen,
Sure! You are so persuasive! I can’t answer for Greg Brick but I will anyway.

You know our schedule and your schedule far better than I, so if we are there, we might as well join in and meet everyone. I’d like that.

This will be my first fashion show. I can’t answer for Greg.So put us down for Two tickets
Wayne Murray

Only knowing Wayne from emails, I decided I liked him immediately…he was so open and receptive in his communications…and he was exactly like that in person too!

Cruz Roja International Volunteers held their eighth successful Annual Fashion Show at Hotel Real de Chapala on March 7. Since our participants stay at the Hotel Real de Chapala, they didn’t have far to go.

The fashion show was a double header…a luncheon in the afternoon and a dinner/dance in the evening. The professionally produced runway show was ‘choreographed’ by Cece Darling, a recent transplant to the Lakeside area with a long history in the fashion industry. Models had to audition for a chance to strut their stuff for charity, and from the frequent and hearty applause, they were well chosen! Fashions were from Tina Jones’ Designs, Fiaga Boutique and Galeria, Mi Mexico, Opus Boutique, Ana Rosa, Alma Gutierrez and Takasami of Guadalajara. The show included an assortment of fashion, everything from funky and chic to classy and elegant to true objects of art! The women were not professional models, but worked long and hard hours to rehearse for this delightful and fast-paced production.

Focus on Mexico’s program director, Ana Kabande, has graced the runway many times for Cruz Roja, and this year was no exception. Focus on Mexico had at least two tables rooting for her every time she made her entrance, strutting to the music that set the theme for each clothing line. Sashaying down the runway to the THUMP, THUMP, THUMP of the background music, she looked absolutely gorgeous!

Cruz Roja raised $200,000 pesos during the March Fashion Show Event, money that will help the monthly operation of the critical Red Cross Chapala Delegacion. Organizers want to thank Lakeside residents and visitors for their continued support and generosity.

The local Cruz Roja (Lago de Chapala) operates 24 hours per day, seven days per week, and serves more than 350,000 people living and visiting on the north and south shores of Lake Chapala, and in numerous small villages surrounding the lake.

Lago de Chapala’s operation is funded through national fund-raising efforts as well as the national lottery. However, these efforts cover less than one-half of their operating budget. So community volunteers work tirelessly on local fundraising events throughout the year to help keep the deficit under control, and to keep Cruz Roja services available. Their regular fashion shows are one of the most popular events in the Lake Chapala area.

It is important that Cruz Roja Chapala has a steady income flow so that the monthly expenses are covered and their services don’t have lapses. If you want to help, Cruz Roja Chapala can take cash or check donations. Here’s how to do that:

Checks: If you’re local and are writing a check, make it out to 'Cruz Roja Chapala. They will provide receipts, including tax deductible receipts for U.S. You can drop your donations of at Cruz Roja in Chapala, Lake Chapala Society.

Pay Pal or Credit Card: Go to Cruz Roja Website and donate via Pay Pal or Major Credit Card. The web address is: http://www.cruzrojachapala.com/. 

There are lots of ways that you can help Cruz Roja Chapala, even if you think that you don't have time to attend the meetings or to participate as an active volunteer. Check out http://www.cruzrojachapala.com/help.html for the ways you can help.

Well, thank goodness for Ana...she will never let us pass up an opportunity to try something new. A case in point ...I came upon Aase Christensen and Herma Buchanan staring at an interesting looking fruit and wondering what it was. Well, Ana whips out her purse and immediately purchases one and has the vendor cut it for us. And, believe me, if Ana says it's good, I'm definitely going to try it! There is such a wonderful variety of tasty fruit in Mexico; we owe it to ourselves to step out of the box and try something different!

Well, on this particular day, Ana introduced us to Mamey...also called Mamey Sapote (MA-may sah-PO-tay). Roughly the size and shape of a small football or softball, the mamey has bark like brown rough skin and is orange inside. It is soft, smooth, thick, and creamy. There is usually one seed and it is smooth, shiny and dark...

We also felt very proud to see that the Secretary of Public Education, along with the State Government of Jalisco, has a campaign running for adults who didn’t have a chance to finish school when they were young, to take their exams for free and get their school documents. The slogan was “Porque nunca es tarde para mejorar tu vida, termina tu primaria y secundaria” which means “Because it is never late to improve your life, come and finish your primary and secondary school.”

Besides, the government was also promoting free studies for adults who didn’t have a chance to attend school for any other reason.

There were a lot of people writing exams and filling forms to get their documents in order to have a chance to find better jobs and opportunities. Hurray for Jalisco’s Government, they always seem to look after the well-being of their people.

Celebrating a Happy Birthday at Hospicio Cabañas

One of our participants had a chance to share a Happy Birthday with a lovely girl who dressed up along with her mother and aunt to have her father take her some pictures for her 18th birthday. At first, we all thought these ladies were famous models or something, but at the end lovely Elia and her family were very happy to share this moment with us.
So, this was our tour of the Plaza Tapatía, I hope you have a chance to join us very soon.

Focus On Mexico offers 8-Day Educational Programs to Ajijic and Lake Chapala, Mexico (2^nd Best Climate in the World). Join us on a Focus program and learn why thousands of Americans and Canadians chose to retire in Lake Chapala.

Our programs offer the perfect balance; a wonderful vacation and an insightful, educational experience. Our expert speakers cover all topics: Health Care, Real Estate, Legal System, Immigration, Bringing Pets, Cost of Living, US Taxes for Americans, Non-Residency for Canadians, Living on the Lakeside, Investing in Mexico, Mexican Economy and much more...

You’ll get everything you need to help you decide if Lake Chapala, Mexico is the place for you, plus have a lot of fun doing it. Retiring in Mexico couldn't be better. 

The sphere of glass contains ice and water with a lime for decoration. The triangular glass Julie's holding comes full of tequila...that way the tequila is kept cold while you're drinking it.

You know…I’ve heard tequila should never be chilled, but here’s what others say:

Tequila is a fine and complex liquor and as such it must be sipped slowly. It should be served at room temperature, although some like it ice cold. Traditionally most people serve it in a "caballito", a 2 oz glass made exclusively for this purpose. Blanco and Reposado may be accompanied by "sangrita" made of tomato and orange juice with salt and chile. Añejo is preferably served in a snifter so that the aroma is fully appreciated. The tequila shot with lime and salt is Hollywood stuff and few people drink it that way. However, some people do put some lime juice in the tequila or bite the lime before sipping it. Life is, after all, a matter of taste.

There is no "right" way to drink tequila, but any spirit is best appreciated first on its own merits, without accompaniment.

Sip it. Forget about the lime and the salt and the margarita mix. Don't even add ice. If you want to taste it, drink it neat first, so you can savor it.

Some people like it served cold, especially the blanco variety. And, personally, I would only drink blanco cold. To me, blanco should only be used in a Margarita or drunk ice cold! It’s not what I would consider a sipping tequila at all…so I’m really surprised a tequila connoisseur would even suggest it!

With regard to reposado and añejo, sip the premium tequila slowly and gently, to enjoy the aroma, the body and the taste. Taste it as you would a fine wine. Life is really too short to miss out on enjoying it properly. I am a tequila-holic…I admit it!

And if you must do shooters, the proper order of the traditional method of drinking tequila is salt-tequila-lime: lick, sip, bite...

But I have a happy ending…

I love muffins and I have a wonderful “Alive” cookbook called “Fantastic Flax” where I found my favorite Muffin of all time “Flax Muffins with Chocolate Chips” (only I use Carob chips).

A few days ago I lovingly made myself a batch. This morning I poured myself a cup of green tea, got out a beautiful muffin and came up on the terrace to enjoy the view while I savored my treat. Two bites later I bit into my crown which had somehow come unglued.

It is 1 p.m. on Saturday and I race for the phone and call Dr. Haro, my dentist. The receptionist (who is also a dentist) tells me they close at 1 p.m. and Dr. Haro is just finishing with a patient, then he is driving back to Guadalajara.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not really good at taking NO for an answer. So in my most persuasive tone I tell her that I am going to Ana’s birthday party in a couple of hours and I really must be wearing all my teeth. I said “I have my purse and keys in my hand and can be there in five minutes.” She tells me to wait while she checks with Dr. Haro and then tells me to rush right over.

In by 1:05; out by 1:30 p.m., my emergency appointment goes well. Instead of just re-cementing the tooth in place, they notice it is a little higher than the other teeth which would put extra stress on it so they filed it down to match and then gave me a quick cleaning and polish. Then they send my off to my party, all teeth back where they belong. Thank you Dr. Haro.
To drum up future business for Dr. Haro (for those of you that are here on the lakeside or when you visit or return), I’m going to share this favorite healthy muffin recipe with you.

Flax Muffins with Chocolate Chips
Muffins are an American mainstay, but here is a recipe with an Old World twist.

1/2 cup whole flax seeds
1-1/2 cups (375 ml) kefir or buttermilk
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup flax meal
1/2 cup dried cane sugar, e.g., Sucanat or Rapadura
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp sea salt
2 eggs
1/4 cup (60 ml) almond oil or melted butter
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips

Soak whole flax seeds in kefir for 2 hoursPreheat oven to 380 degrees F (190 degrees C).

In a large bowl, mix flour, flax meal, dried cane sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In another bowl, beat eggs and combine with almond oil, vanilla and kefir-soaked flax seeds. Add the liquid ingredients to the dry ingredients and gently stir until smooth. Finally, fold in chocolate chips.

Pour the batter into 16 medium muffin cups so that they are no more than 3/4 full, and bake for 20 minutes.

Let sit on a cooling rack for at least 5 minutes before serving.

NOTE: I have made a few changes to the recipe:

1.  Instead of chocolate chips, I use carob chips
2. Instead of cane sugar, I use Agave Nectar and slightly reduce the quantity
3. I add a cup of fresh or frozen blueberries
4. I also add 4 or 5 pieces of crystallized ginger cut in small pieces

Enjoy!
Marie Dwyer-Bullock

Thursday, the day we spend with Lloyd Ajijic Real Estate, has become one of my favorite days on the Focus program. And our September program was no exception….but this time the experience exceeded even my expectations. What fun!

When we arrive at Omar O'Rourke's beautiful estate, everyone noticed what a gorgeous place it is and I'm sure we all thought we could tough it out and live there! Mela always decorates the tables so creatively and this time was no exception. This time, however, her napkins brought an unexpected element of fun to the day. Mela chose colorful bandanas and had then tucked in place with a clothespin.

After a margarita or two (who's counting?!) everyone was wearing Mela's napkins on their heads in a roguish fashion! Even Omar joined in the fun and we all looked a little like hippies, gypsies and pirates.

When Vivienne started to play the guitar and sing Proud Mary with the Mariachis group backing her up, many of us were on our feet and dancing and singing along. Vivienne, you did a great job on the guitar! If you hadn't told me it's been a while since you played, I would have never known. That was GREAT. This was such a fun group and that was the best time I've ever had at Omar's house.

Later that night, we went to dinner at La Tasca on the lake. They have a reputation for some of the best live music available in Lakeside and I am not just saying that because my husband, Joel, is in the TallBoys and plays there---well, maybe just a little bit but who could blame me? Anyway, that Thursday night was magical with Roberto Cerda and Jimmy Barto on vocals and trumpet. When Jimmy sings he does an excellent Jimmy Durante impression. Everyone was marveling that there was such world-class music right here in Ajijic. It sounded like we were enjoying famous musicians on Bourbon Street in New Orleans way back when. If you have the chance to hear Jimmy and Roberto play---don't miss it! (Kathy, we did get video of this so you can prove to your friends in Texas that we really do have it going on down here in "Podunk Town, Mexico!" J)

Those of you who were there that night saw Neill on the bongo drums and were duly impressed. Neill looked completely happy and in his element as a part of the band and a number of times when Neill stood up to stop playing Jimmy and the Roberto told him to sit back down and continue! Neill is an excellent drummer and fit right in. Neill, I think you have yourself a job! Ray even got up and sang the Sheik of Ajijic with Roberto and joined in on the fun with Neill on bongos. What a great night! *sigh* This is what makes my job so much fun---meeting people like all of you and sharing my Mexico! Thanks for dancing with me, Irene and Karen! All of you made it a very special day. Thank you!

The cherry on my "golden memory day" was Gustavo doing his gaucho-style bolas. Great balls of fire!---he even caught his chaps on fire. I will refrain from being too corny and saying anything about him "chapping his hide." ;) It was an excellent show, and an excellent day.

Come back and let's do this again!

I call that a Golden Memory Day.

Would you associate quitting smoking with potatoes?? Well, Fred Peters of our Out of Focus group would.

One night at one of our "Out of Focus" at the bar sessions, which were held every night after that day's events, our group was talking about the wonderful food we'd eaten, the beautiful weather, and the Focus program in general, when the subject of smoking was brought up. This got everyone talking about their smoking habits and various attempts to quit

After several stories about failures and successes made the rounds, Wendy proceeded to tell the story of Fred's attempt to quit.

As the story goes, Fred decided to quit smoking. He paid a visit to his doctor who had read an article about patients being treated for depression who had successfully quit smoking. These patients were taking a drug called Wellbutrin. The doctor read that some of these patients were also able to quit smoking as a result of taking the drug.

He suggested to Fred that he start taking Wellbutrin to quit smoking. Well, Fred gave it a try, but noticed pretty early on that he was having some pretty bad symptoms, such as nightmares, anxiety and nervousness.

It all came to a head one night at dinner. Wendy and Fred were eating their meal, when Fred scooped up some small potatoes onto his fork and they promptly rolled off onto the floor. This triggered an emotional outburst from Fred, whereupon he burst out crying and asked Wendy, "Are you going to leave me?"

Wendy decided then and there that Fred should promptly stop taking Wellbutrin. By this point in the story, we were all practically rolling on the floor with laughter.

At our trip to the Ajijic tianguis later that week, Dave and Toni brilliantly decided to buy potatoes for all of us to present to Fred at our next dinner.

Dave handed us all potatoes when we arrived at Manix and when Fred and Wendy got up to dance, we filled his plate with potatoes. Upon returning to their seats, Fred saw that his plate was piled high with potatoes. Everybody again roared with laughter.And then if that wasn't enough, Wendy decided to use some of the potatoes to enhance some upper body parts.

YES WENDY, WE ALL HAVE PICTURES TO PROVE IT !!!

Everybody again roared with laughter.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "I'll never look at potatoes the same way again."
 

Okay…how many of you out there have been ‘mordida-ed’ by Ana? We’ve all had our share as any of you who have looked at the program pictures know. I’m sure there are participants who have come on our program and NOT let us know it was their birthday.

Well…we now have a movie of Ana’s birthday that will surprise and delight you. And the nice part about it, it made Ana laugh harder than anyone else. She just loved it. There are those of us who were just made for the Mexican way of life…mordida, confetti, piñatas and all!

Just to give it to you briefly, however: At birthday celebrations, once assembled guests finish singing the lovely words of the traditional song, "Las Mananitas"…

By Toni St. Martin

Editor’s Note: Our October 2008 Focus On Mexico group was a very unique group that we all enjoyed every much. They were the first group ever to come up with a special name. This is one participant’s story about how that came about.

Here’s is my version of how we came up with our name "out of focus." At least this is what I can remember.

I think it was Marie who had mentioned another group you had on your Focus on Mexico program that formed a special bond like our group did. They called themselves "full of mirth," representing their bond and representing the initials FOM for Focus on Mexico. (April 2007 program!) Marie had mentioned that we should come up with a name for our group since we had formed such close relationships and bonded so well together.

It all started on Sunday evening on our bus ride home from dinner. It was Karen that said we should all just go back to the hotel and get a good night’s sleep to get ready for our Focus on Mexico classes on Monday. I think it was that "twinkle" in her eye that made us all think…yeah right ! So off the bus we go into the hotel with Dave (St. Martin) leading the pack, and down to the bar we went for some "extra credit" as we like to call it.

We decided to have our own "University at the Bar" classes to get to know each other better. And that we did, telling stories that made us laugh so hard that our sides and faces hurt from laughing so much. We had some pretty good stories about our various experiences in life. These extra credit classes were the perfect opportunity and brought us together to form a very unique bond.

That’s when we decided we should come up with a special name for such a special group. For several evenings, we each threw out some names that we liked. And------one by one, it was nay, nah, umm, until one night Steve Meza blurted out, "how about Out of Focus?" Wow…unanimously we all agreed that would be the perfect name for us. Then Toni commented, “That's a very good name, because, given our ‘extra credit’ activities, we certainly aren't "in focus ! ! !" and then we laughed some more.

And, now you also know the ‘rest of the story’…why some of us were "yawning" at our morning Focus on Mexico classes. It was all those extra credit classes we were taking at night. It was all so worth it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see, this was a very entertaining group, and we will never forget you.